Missing You
by EverlarkDramione
Summary: Peeta Mellark has quite a few mistakes he regrets but none more so than leaving his girlfriend Katniss Everdeen. Four years of military time later he finds her again. Will she give him another chance? Will their relationship last? And who is Bentley! (Remake of my previous story "You Have ALways Had My Heart")
1. The Return

**Hey guys I redid this chapter because I didn't like how I put it together so I wanted to give it a rewrite. I haven't changed what happens ultimately, but I did change the stepdad's reasoning and I added a lot more detail! I hope you like it!**

 **I DO NOT OWN THE HUNGER GAMES**

* * *

 **Peeta's POV**

I hate fucking bus seats. They're uncomfortable, they're nearly always torn to shreds, and you're on them forever. I readjust myself in the seat once more as I watch the scenes of the highway pass me. I should explain what I'm doing on a damn bus. I've spent the last three years on a few different military bases, working wherever they sent me and not doing much else. It's hard to do anything but work when you can do nothing but regret one day. I never would have thought I could be miserable for three years because of a single day. Neither can anyone else.

 _FLASHBACK_

 _I laid in my cot on the far side of my tent. My bunkmates were all around a small table playing card, smoking a bit, and talking about their girls back home. I smile sadly as Thresh talks about his high school sweetheart Molly, "She's at college right now, she's gonna be a kindergarten teacher by the time I get back." His voice was dreamy and he couldn't seem to wipe the grin off of his lips. I wish I still had my high school girlfriend...had things gone my way last year I would have about thirty letters a month, pictures of her with that stupid rock on her finger, and near constant wedding plans surging through my head. I missed my Kit Kat. For the millionth time that day I took her picture out from my breast pocket. She was pale in the moonlight of this picture. Her dark hair was loose around her face in place of her usual braid and her grin was so sweet. I could tell we'd been swimming in the lake by our favorite spot, our willow tree. I was about to slide the picture into my pocket once again when it was snatched from my fingers. I look to see Marvel grinning at me._

 _"Finally get to see Peet's picture boys!" He ran over to the table with me leaping from my bed to catch the bastard. I hadn't let anyone see what I was looking at for the last year and they'd finally grabbed it. He threw it in the middle of the card table and I swore at him._

 _"What are you embarrassed about? She's hot Peeta!" Marvel laughs as I shoot him a glare._

 _"I'm not embarrassed of her."_

 _"Then what's wrong?" Thresh asks_

 _"I lost her alright?! I lost her about two months before I enlisted. I lost the best woman on the planet because I was stupid alright?! Now I give me my damn picture back!" I was handed my photo and I left the tent. I was embarrassed of my outburst. I was pissed at Marvel. I was jealous of Thresh. And overall I missed Katniss._

 _"That was quite a show Mellark. You wanna explain?" I hear Hawthorne say from behind me._

 _"I lost her alright Gale? I was stupid...I was told that I needed to leave her or she'd be shipped off by her step dad. I was told that I wasn't good enough for her and that she would be happier in the long run...then the same night she said she wanted to give me her virginity and I took it. I broke up with her when Ibrought her home. It killed me, it killed me to hurt her. To be so callous about it. To just be without her kills me." I was spilling my guts, I hadn't even told my dad or my brothers about all of this._

 _"You let her stepdad dictate what you do? Did she feel the way he did. Because I guarantee that she wouldn't have had sex with you if she didn't love you. I don't think she'd be that kind of girl to have you like this after a year apart."_

 _"I didn't want him to send her away. She would have ben devastated."_

 _"More devastated than losing her boyfriend right after sleeping with him?"_

 _"Point taken Hawethorn."_

 _"Do you still love her?"_

 _"I still carry her damn picture. What do you think?"_

 _"Then you have to go back. Grow up a little and go back. If she's as good a woman as you say she may even let you take her back." Gale gives me a piercing look before retreating back into the tent. I couldn't help but let his words swim through my brain. I missed her...and what I did to her was horrible...I took her virginity and dumped her. How was I any better than those assholes we made fun of in high school? I decided there...right there on that spot; that I would stay in the army as long as I could. I would make myself worthy of her. Or as worthy as I could be._

* * *

END FLASHBACK

After another two years I finally decided I couldn't stay away any longer. I'd given my notice and finally when I was finished with my time left I hopped on a bus and headed for home. I'd been on the bus for hours when it finally past a crooked little sign that had faded so much you could almost not see the words "Snow County". I looked on as the dry grass on the edge of the road switched to dirt, beer cans, and fast food containers. The scenery also changed from wide open farm lands to the dimly lit streets of downtown Panem in Snow County. It's dirty, dingy, and looks incredibly scary in the dark. The bus screeches to a stop in front of the single streetlamp on one side of the street.

I hadn't been here in years. It felt like eons to be honest. But the only I could think of presently was my last one of her...of Katniss.

* * *

 _FLASHBACK_

 _The smell of the pasties in the basket behind my seat filled my truck with their sweet aroma. I had baked them special for my date with my girlfriend tonight. I'd spent my life savings on her present and I couldn't wait to give it to her...if she'd have me. I thought to the small box in my pocket, the platinum band with only a single cushion cut emerald on it. She'd love it, and hopefully she'd love the idea behind it. I pulled up to the large white farmhouse at the end of the road. In the distance I could see the cattle grazing and hear the clucking of the chickens around back. I cut the engine and practically jumped out of the truck to get to the door of the house. But before I can even knock on the door it opens to reveal Thread, Katniss's stepfather. "Hello sir...is Katniss ready?"_

 _"That doesn't matter right now. Sit down kid." He pulls me inside roughly and points to an armchair in the sitting room. I sat down wondering what he could possibly want._

 _"You know anything about farming?"_

 _"No sir." I mutter_

 _"Know anything about farm animals?"_

 _"No sir." I can't help but wonder where he's going with this._

 _"Then why are you dating my stepdaughter?"_

 _"I am dating her because she's a beautiful person and I love her. Why do you care?"_

 _You've seen how big my farm is. You've seen the amount of animals I have here. And I don't have any children of my own to pass it on to. But I refuse to let it go to my wife's daughter if she's with a no-account-city-boy like you. I need my farm to be left to someone who can actually run it. So you're going to break off this relationship with her so she has a chance with someone. Someone with an actual future beyond being a baker."_

 _I couldn't believe my ears. He wanted me to leave Katniss? I shook my head as the anger rose in me. "And if I don't?! What then?"_

 _"I'll send her back to the local psychiatric ward. You forget Mellark, that while you are 18 she is 17 and still a child under my roof. So do it or she goes back. It's your decision"_

 _Now that had me floored. It had me speechless. Katniss had only been committed once, but her experience left her scarred and still gave her nightmares. I didn't want to have to send her back...I didn't want to be the one to cause her suffering. "Don't...just...give me time." I say_

 _"And don't bother telling her either. You have till she gets back tonight to do it. In the long run she'll be better off without you. Happier."_

 _I didn't have a chance to retort because then Katniss came down the steps across from us. She was wearing a white sundress and her hair was down around her face, she looked like an angel. My angel...except I was about to lose her._

 _"Ready to go?" I choked out and she nodded excitedly. A few minutes later we were in the car and driving back down the dirt road away from her house, she was playing with her hair and smiling contentedly. "Where are we going Peeta?"_

 _"It's a surprise" I smile but the feeling in the pit of my stomach was killing me. I continued on to our place, the site of our first real date. A willow tree by a lake. The lake was clear and crystal blue while the tree was a lush green and hung like curtains around the trunk. Katniss grins at me as we get out and set up our picnic dinner at the base of the tree. We eat and talk for what feels like hours and as it became dark she snuggled into my side. "Kat?" I whisper as I stroke her long chocolate hair. "Yes Peeta?"_

 _"What...what would you want to do if tonight was...was our last night?"_

 _"Peeta is this about you going into the army?" She asks as she looks up from my shoulder. As her grey eyes bored into me I found that I couldn't speak, I only nodded to ease her mind. "Peeta, this isn't our last night. And...and if it was I would want you to make love to me...I would want to give you my virginity."_

 _Katniss was sitting up in my lap now and her face was just inches from mine. Her eyes are turning a darker grey as she closes the gap between us, when her lips slid against mine and put all of my heartache and love into that kiss. No more words were spoken between us as we stripped off our clothes and made love in the moonlight. Finally when we were finished, our skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat that glistened in the soft starlight that drifted through the thick branches of the willow. "I love you KitKat. No matter what mistakes I make...I do love you." I whisper to her as she lies on my chest contentedly. But she didn't hear me. She was already asleep._

 _FLASHBACK OVER_

* * *

The driver calls out my stop so I get off after grabbing my duffel bag. I step off the last stair and into a dingy puddle. I start walking to the nearest diner which I can see through the corner of my eye. When I open the door the smell of burgers, fries, and grease hits my nose. I nod to the waitress working the counter and I take the nearest booth.

The diner is deserted so when I hear the waitress I'd seen talk to someone I hear it extremely clearly. "Hey kid, I'm heading off. Haymitch said he needed you to close up for the night!" The waitress unties her blonde hair and pulls off the apron she's wearing. When she looks my way she says "She'll take care of you in a minute honey.'

I look back down to the greasy plastic menu before I hear the padding of a pair of converse on the linoleum I look at the floor and find myself staring at a slightly dirty pair of green converse and as my eyes continue to travel upwards. Up two shapely legs wrapped in skinny jeans, past a small waist wrapped in an apron, a flat stomach under a thin grey t-shirt and up past a (for lack of a more beautiful term) hot bust. Then my eyes fell on a pale slender neck and finally I find the thin face of Katniss Everdeen. Her grey eyes are wide with surprise and her lips are slightly parted. "Peeta?" she near whimpers

"Katniss...why are you here?" I can't help but let the question spill from my lips as I take her in. She's thinner than she used to be and she has dark rings under her eyes. She's exhausted. I wanted nothing more than to take her into my arms and never let go.

Her eyes widened even further if possible at my question. Her grey irises were turning into that stormy color that she gained when she was nothing short of furious. "Why am I Here?! Why am I here?! Fuck you! I was heartbroken when you left! I was devastated! Your timing wasn't any better you bastard! Were you planning to dump me the moment we had sex or did you feel too sentimental to do it then?!" She's breathing more heavily now, her chest rising as angry tears stained her cheeks.

"Katniss I want to talk about that-"

"Talk about it?! What about a damn phone call. Or a fucking letter. I sent you plenty of both after you ended it. _Before_ you joined the army."

"I know I didn't-"

"Didn't what?!"

"I didn't want to make it hurt any more than it already did."

"Not knowing why was the worst. I thought you were different Peeta. I started dating you against my better judgement. I see now that I was stupid"

I could see that what I'd done had hurt her, damaged her more than I had thought possible. "I'm sorry Kat...could we talk? Just...please?" I knew I sounded pathetic but I didn't care. She's glaring at me but she sits in the booth across from me. "Talk. It had better be good."

This was the chance I'd been dreaming of for the past three years. "Katniss, I know you think I broke up with you because I finally got the sex I wanted. But that isn't it. I was planning the opposite. On that date I was planning on proposing...I still have the ring. But when your stepdad answered the door he told me that I had to leave you...or he'd send you back to Capital Hospital." Her angry face paled at the mention of that horrible place but she didn't say anything so I continued.

"He gave me until the end of the night to break it off with you. That's why I asked what you would want to do if it was our last night together...because I thought it was."

"Why the hell would he want us broken up? How do I know you aren't just making excuses?" She says accusingly

"He wanted you to marry a farmboy like he was. He wanted to leave you and whoever you ended up with his farm. He knew he just didn't want me to be that someone." I am now looking at my fingers on the table between us. I didn't want to see her eyes right now, looking at me with such hate.

"So he told you to dump me or he'd commit me." She says, it's not a question. But a statement, as though she needs to convince herself. "I believe it, that bastard was always a bitch." She's glaring out the window now and I felt the words tumble from my lips before I could stop myself.

"I'm sorry I left...I couldn't just let you be committed again. I knew how it effected you before." Her head snaps back to me and I feel the silver fire in her eyes burn into me.

"Why didn't you say ANYTHING?! You could have told me! I would have waited for you. I would have pretended we were done. Pretended that you'd left. I would have done anything for you, anything at all. But you still left me." She whispers more to herself than anyone else. And the hurt in her voice killed me, I'd done this to her.

"Katniss I didn't think...I didn't want to think of what I had to do. I wanted to just think about us."

The tears in her eyes are falling freely down her cheeks now as she gets up from the booth. She'd had enough of hearing me talk. "I think you should go. I need to close up." Her voice sounded so final in my ears. I was about to ask her something but she held up her hand.

"I don't know what I want to do right now. I need time to think Peeta. Things have changed."

"Kat could we please talk for longer?" I practically beg

"No I need to talk to Ben-...to someone to get some perspective on this." She's turning a soft shade of pink in her embarrassment, but I couldn't focus on her sweet face while she did this. I was stuck on what she'd said someone named Ben...was she with someone now? Is that why this was even more painful? I was dredging up old news when she was finally happy with someone else. I was still stuck on this as she ushered me out of the diner. I was still stuck on it as I walked down the street, duffel bag weighing down my right side. It was _still_ consuming me as I rounded the corner to see a better kept street. One with less trash in the gutters and more street lamps along the sidewalks. I see my father's bakery still lit up despite the late hour. I go in with Katniss's words still ringing around in my head. When I smell the fresh bread in the air I feel a small amount of the weight leave my shoulders. "Peeta! There you are, I thought you'd be here hours ago!" My father emerged from the kitchen with flour on his hands and more grey in his hair than I remembered. "Hey dad" I smile tiredly

"Where have you been? I was starting to worry." he asks as we hug one another tightly.

"I was...trying to track down Katniss."

His smile falters a bit, "I never did understand why you two broke it off...did you manage to find her?" He asks looking trepidatious

"No..." I lie quickly and I am relieved to see that he buys it.

"Well I have seen her a few streets down quite a few times. At that little fresh market on the corner. You could try there in the morning I suppose. But for now you and I need to talk turkey." He chuckles

"What about?"

"About this place, you always did love this place didn't you?" He smiles as he starts to wipe down the counter to free it of the crumbs.

"Of course dad, I only grew up upstairs and spent my entire high school days behind the counter." I grin at these nice memories that are taking the place of Katniss temporarily.

"Well we both know that I'm getting on in years and with a second bakery opening I don't think I'd do well with running _both_. Maybe you could keep this one for me, run it, take care of it. Make it your own Peeta. I want this place to grow, and I know you've always had some beautiful ideas for the bakery. The apartment upstairs would be yours too if you want." This is something I've been hoping for since I was a little kid, this was the best gift my father could have ever given me. But one thing was bothering me.

"What does mom think about this?" and dad's face falls the tiniest bit before he smiles again. "It's been my business and it's not like we'll go broke in a day without this one. She'll live with it."

After a while my dad decides to head home and hit the hay. "I've left some things upstairs for you including the transfer of ownership papers. I've already signed them all and all that's left is for you to sign them. When they're done I'll pick them up and send them off to the notary. Alright? Night Peeta and remember to come over for Sunday dinner. Everyone is so excited to see you." He gives me one final hug and hair ruffle before departing. I head up to the apartment and find not only the pile of papers but a big basket of cheese buns and apple tarts. I look around the old place and find all of my old things in the master bedroom. Every sketch and comic book, every wrestling jersey and every paintbrush. I had everything...except Katniss. I sighed and sat don on the bed and stared at the hardwood floor. She always used to talk about being a writer one day. All she had to do as go to college just to get a few classes. But it seems she never got the chance. What all had changed? I couldn't stand the not knowing. So I resigned myself to a sleepless night...or I would have. Had my phone not rung. I answered it hopelessly and heard the voice of my old wrestling buddy who knew I was back in town.

"Peeta you've gotta come out with us tonight! We need to catch up!" He laughs through the receiver.

"Henry I don't know"

"Come on we'll go to a bar and we'll talk about all the stuff you've missed man!"

"It's 10:00" I groan hoping he'll have mercy. But no such luck he talks me into go to the bar with him and I guess it would be fun to see him again. Even if I am miserable. An hour later I'm in a bar with him and he's on his third beer of the night. "So Peeta, you get any when you were out in the world." He grins but I shake my head.

"You can't mean you're still hung up on that Katniss chick."

"Hey, she's an amazing woman. Leave her be"

"Amazing woman huh? Well she works at the Seam, she looks pretty good."

"No, she works at that diner around the corner." I say not looking up. I didn't know what the seam was but from what I could tell I wouldn't want her working there.

"Yeah she does, I was there last night." He says before knocking back another gulp of his beer.

"Fine, what is the Seam?" I ask exasperatedly

"Oh yeah you left before it opened. It's a strip joint." he doesn't have a chance to say any more because instantly I'm out of my seat throwing my drink money on the counter. "Where is it?" I demanded

"Why does it matter man, didn't you see her naked already?"

"That doesn't matter. She shouldn't work there. She deserves so much better." I say in a slight panic. I could take Katniss being with someone else if she loved him but being a stripper...I couldn't take that. Not that.

"It's ten blocks away, let's stay and have a-" I didn't let him finish as I left the bar in search of this stupid club. I found it twenty minutes later. It was small, ugly neon pink and blue lights covered it as well as the outline of a naked woman drawn on the blacked out windows. I walk in, show my ID to the bouncer and look over the dark room for her but I don't see her. Then again she's not looking the way I'd think she would so I head to the bar. A girl there is wearing a skimpy bunny teddy set complete with white ears in her curly blonde hair. "Hey sweetie, can I get you a drink?" She giggles flirtatiously

"No. Is Katniss Everdeen here?" I ask over the loud thumping music.

"Oh. She's in the back. She'll be back with more liquor in a minute." She turns to another man at the bar as Katniss comes through the dark curtains to my right. She's wearing a black lacy teddy with a long black cat tail and black Kat ears in her dark hair. "Oh KitKat" Whisper and she somehow hears me and turns in my direction.

"What are you doing here?!"

"Henry Stewart told me you worked here...why do you work here" She sets the drink bottles down and drags me into a VIP room. After locking the door she shoots me a glare. "I work here because I have to Peeta. This place pays for my groceries and for electricity. That is why I work here Peeta."

"Well quit. I know you hate me but please. I can't stand to let you work here. My dad just gave me the bakery...I'll hire you. I need a cashier...please?" I am desperate. I knew it was a long shot but I knew she must hate it here.

"Peeta you can't just uproot my life-"

"Do you like working here?"

"Of course not-"

"Then why not work for me? I won't bother you about anything, I'll give you space, and I'll pay you twice what you make here."

"Peeta-"

"Kat please, I know you don't trust me but I want a chance to earn your trust again. Even if we can't be together like we once were. I'll even be nice to this Ben whoever."

"You know about him?" her face is once again white in fear

"I kind of guessed you'd move on Katniss. And you did mention him at the diner"

She lets loose a breath before asking "Are you positive this is alright? You won't fire me because I won't sleep with you or anything?" That question hurt. But I let it roll off my shoulders "I would never Kat...never do that to anyone. Especially not you. Please just...please?"

"Fine...but I need to finish my shift..."

"Why?"

"I need to give my two weeks-"

"Just quit! If you need a reference for some future job call me!" I can't believe she's still trying to be so utterly responsible when I'm offering to take some of it.

"Peeta I couldn't-" Katniss starts but after I give her a look she sighs "Fine I'll quit _after my shift_. I'll come to the bakery in the morning..."

"Why do you need to finish your shift?"

"God Peeta I need the damn tips for some groceries tomorrow! GOD!" She finally shouts. Her fire is showing again and I can't help but see how close she is to me in that outfit. I blush and before I can say anything she gives me a look. "Peeta I know I am in this outfit but we are _not_ dating. And you of all people should know that I am not into anything casual."

"Kat I know that...we...should talk about this when...when you don't have a cat tail...but you do look cute-"

"PEETA!" She's now blushing and covering her chest with her arms, I blush a little more too and say "Could I at least walk you home? I don't want you walking home alone this late at night..."

"Alright...but you don't need to-" she is cut off by a loud banging on the door "Everdeen! You're on drinks for another hour! You'd better have a damn good excuse for using this VIP room!"

She bites her lip and opens the door "Hello Mr. Crane...um this gentleman insisted that he was more interested in my costume than Glimmer's. I was just trying to help sir." She is looking at the floor and obviously trying to look innocent. This Crane guy turns his gaze towards me, "So you asked her? She didn't invite you?"

"Yep. I have a thing for brunettes and cat costumes."

"Ah, well for future reference the girls at the bar need to be on drink duties before turning to _extracurricular_ activities. And these rooms are 50 bucks an hour...I'll let you finish out the hour with her but then she needs to get back to the bar. Got it Everdeen?" He turns back to Katniss before I do something that would piss her off something royal...

"Actually, she's not going back to the bar." I wrap my arm around her waist and smirk at him. "She's quitting and coming home a bit early tonight." I can feel Katniss glaring at me when Crane speaks again. "So the first time you use a room and you hook up with some random guy? I knew you were a sl-"

I didn't really let him finish the sentence as I grab him by the collar. "You really wanna finish that sentence?"

He glares at me then at Katniss. "I guess not, but get out. _NOW_ " He growls in his humiliation of being out bullied. His glare pushes Katniss to the dressing rooms to grab her clothes and other things. I wait for her at the door and the second we're out of the club she slaps me in the face.

I didn't yell or even ask her why. I knew she'd be pissed. I was still happy that I'd gotten her out of there despite her obvious anger. "Peeta you had no right to do that! I would have quit two hours from now and I'd be at least 100 dollars richer. Thanks now I get to go hungry for a day or two. You're such a great hero!" She shouts as she begins to stomp down the sidewalk. I trot after her with my cheek stinging.

"I can walk home by myself. I don't even want to look at you right now!" I continue to follow her as she yells at me. I chuckle to myself as she starts to talk about a few things from our dating days. Like the time I picked her up and charged into the cold water of the lake. Or when some guy was asking her out and I started to make out with her in the _middle of a store_ just to stake a claim. She's still yelling at me as she stops in front of a grungy looking apartment building. She takes a deep breath "Thank you for the job and for walking me home but I think I can take it from here." "Are you sure? Those guys in the lobby don't look very...nice could I please please walk you to your door?" I ask as I eye the men on the inside of the dirty glass doors, she looks through and rolls her eyes "Are you going to actually let me walk up alone or are you going to follow me anyway like the way you just followed me home?"

I chuckle and give her a wink and she sighs. "Come on." she goes inside and the men eye her up as I stick close behind her. We enter the rickety and smelly elevator. When the doors close I let out a nervous breath. "Katniss I know you aren't looking forward to working with me, but I want to make up for my massive mistake. I want you to know how monumentally sorry I am for all of this."

She's looking at her shoes now and I can tell she's thinking by the way her fingers are now fiddling with her keys. "I know you're sorry Peeta...and if things weren't the way they are...I could almost understand. But you leaving me was the worst thing that could have happened. I loved you Peeta. Despite all the bad things I've gone through for love...I still loved you. You were the best thing in my life. After my dad...after Prim...my mom shut me out. She married a jerk who treated me like a nuisance. My mother cut out my uncle Haymitch because of his connection to dad...I had nobody when I was 16. Not one person. I was so alone..then you changed that. After a fucking month you were my reason to get up in the mornings. After a year you're my whole world. I couldn't imagine a world without you." Her voice sounds so raw and close to the edge as she speaks. I can't help but tear up. I meant so much to her. It hurt her to be away from me too.

During her whole speech the elevator is climbing higher and higher until we finally get to her floor. The doors open in front of us and she walks out to a small door to our right. Its paint is peeling, the carpet beneath our feet smells, and I can hear a kids show somewhere on the floor. I thought it was coming from her apartment, but there wouldn't be any kids in there so I dismissed that thought. She looks scared again like she's hiding something. "Kat...I know you've moved on...but that doesn't mean-" I start with my heart breaking with every word only for her to hold her hand up to silence me.

"Don't Peeta, you don't understand what's going on. I _do_ have another man in my life now. But he isn't my boyfriend."

"What do you mean?" More than anything, I'm confused. What does _that_ mean? Did she have a roommate? Did she live with that uncle she used to talk about? A dog? No clue.

"Peeta I want you to meet him tomorrow morning. Ok? He's hopefully in bed at the moment. He's...his...his name is Bentley. He is a beautiful little boy, blonde hair, blue eyes, a love for art and animals. He's my son." She is looking at me as though she thinks I'm about to destroy something...and I wanted to.

"You have a son...with blonde hair and blue eyes. Who loves art...so he's mine?" I whisper. I couldn't believe it. I thought I would be lucky if Katniss even forgave me...but I have a baby with her. A little boy.

"He's 2 years and 3 months old. I had him a little early." She looks at the door.

"And why didn't you ever tell me?!" I'm upset now

"I didn't tell you because I thought you only wanted me for sex and wouldn't want anything to do with him. What else was I supposed to think?"

"I...I know Kat but I still had a right to know that he existed!" I'm so confused and I just don't know what to say other than that. "Peeta I'm sorry I didn't tell you...but I've told you now. I want you to be a father to him now...I think you'd be good at it. We'll see about the rest."

She smiles weakly and opens her door only to disappear behind it. I had a son...a son with the woman I loved.

* * *

 **WOOOO rewrite accomplished! I hope you guys like it!**


	2. The Past Remembered

**Chapter two!**

 **I do not own the Hunger Games**

* * *

 **Katniss's POV**

I shut the door and lock it, I put my head on the wood and count to ten. That boyish smile...that sweet voice...that protective streak. The stuff I used to love about Peeta...to be honest...the stuff I still love about him.

"Who was that brainless" The voice of her best friend turned babysitter Joanna Mason. "Hey Jo, how was he tonight?"

"Nuts as per usual, but he went to bed alright. Now don't dance around the question again. Who was that? Did you pick someone up at work? You slut good for you!" She grins

"No! No...I um...don't be mad at me Jo."

Her smile drops and is replaced by a scowl "Oh what'd you do?"

"It was Peeta..."

"As in Bentley's sperm donor?!" Her voice is a little bit higher now.

"Yes. But before you go nuts I talked to him. I didn't take him back. But I'm going to let him meet Bentley." I know that it's my choice, but I couldn't just disregard Joanna, she'd been with me since the beginning.

* * *

 ** _Flashback_**

 _The apartment I am now sitting in is rather heartbreaking; it's bare with two very small bedrooms, a little kitchen, a cramped bathroom, and an open space meant to be a sitting room. I of course considered myself lucky to even be in this apartment rather than on the street. I'd spent the last month bouncing from house to house after being kicked out by my stepfather. I'd been shoved out of their life because of a mistake I'd made, I'd given my virginity to my boyfriend of one year and ended up pregnant. My mother found the test in my bathroom and told her husband who proceeded to call me a slut and told me to take my crap and get out. I'd gone to my friend Annie's house and stayed there for a week while I tried to figure out what to do. I'd called my mom forty or fifty times only to get her voicemail every time. I jumped from friend's house to friend's house as I searched for a job to just be able to_ **try** _and support myself. Eventually I managed to get a job at some dollar store and I found an apartment that didn't require a downpayment. I moved in as quickly as I could but I had little to no furniture. I had a small puffy chair, a TV tray table, and a lamp when I moved in. I only had a few changes of clothes and just a few essential toiletries. I only had two blankets with me, one that I slept on and one that I used to keep warm. After a week like this I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. I was a month pregnant at this point and all of my money was heading toward my rent._

 _One night I was unable to sleep and ended up doing my laundry in the building laundry room. Since the hour was so late I'd assumed I'd be there alone, only to meet someone down there. "You're new aren't you"_

 _She had long dark hair and a pixyish face. Her eyes were sharp and she had an unending smirk on her face. "Uh...yeah I am..." I bit my lip and tried to sit there quietly for a moment but when she opened her detergent bottle, the smell wafted over to me and I couldn't contain myself. I threw up about ten seconds later into a nearby trashcan._

 _"What is wrong with you?!" She says as I empty my stomach. I lean against the wall as the nausea continues to kick my ass. "I'm...I'm sorry. It's morning sickness. I never know what's gonna set it off."_

 _Her angry look softens, "Why isn't your boyfriend doing the laundry then?"_

 _"He dumped me a couple months ago...right after we conceived the baby I guess" I feel the tears coming to my eyes. I had thinking about Peeta now, that was the only good thing about being kicked out. Being homeless distracted me._

 _"That piece of shit...what's your name?"_

 _"Katniss..." I was slowly catching my breath now and the girl had finally closed the top of her detergent. "So Katniss, do you live with someone now or anything? Because if you do, they need to do the laundry." She says as she leans on the washer._

 _"No...I live alone. I actually just got kicked out of my mom's house..." I'm hugging my knees now, I hated thinking about this._

 _"How about I take you up to your room, I'll keep an eye on your laundry while you get some sleep. Where is your brain? Don't pregnant ladies need rest?" She smirks slightly as she holds her hand out to me. It was the first kind act that wasn't from Annie. I was a little floored._

 _"What's your name?" I ask as I take her hand and pull myself up._

 _"Johanna Mason. I live in room 7 on the 12th floor."_

 _"I'm in 12 on the same floor..."_

 _She grins at me "God brainless, don't you want to meet your neighbors?" She wraps an arm around my shoulders and pulls me to the elevators. After we get to our floor we go to my apartment and I can't help but blush in embarrassment as I open the door. There's no furniture except for my chair, tray table, and lamp. "Did you get robbed?!"_

 _"No...when my stepdad kicked me out...I didn't really get to grab more than some clothes and a blanket. The rest I got from my friend Annie and goodwill." I'm probably pretty red at this point. I can't help but stare at my crappy shoes as she looks around "Where does your mom live?" She asks as she glares around the room._

 _"In a farm outside of town." I answer with no clue what she plans to do. She turns to me and pulls me out of the apartment and down to her door. "You can stay with me tonight. I won't let a pregnant girl sleep on the floor while I have room. Tomorrow I'm driving you out to that farm and we're getting your stuff back ok?" She's turning a shade of red too but she isn't embarrassed, she's pissed. "Why are you helping me? You met me twenty minutes ago, I puked, and you found out my name."_

 _She looks at me very seriously "I know what it's like to be in your situation. I didn't get any help but I want you to get some alright?"_

 _Long story short, I slept on her couch that night and woke up to her plopping my laundry on a chair across from me and telling me to get dressed. We went to my old home and she knocked on the door, yelled at my mother and stepdad, and called a friend of hers named Finnick who brought his truck to help haul away my old things. Johanna was gleeful as we drove back to our apartment building, and the strange thing was she didn't stop talking to me after she helped me either. She continued to check up on me whenever she could and before long we were thick as thieves, especially after she realized how bad off I was when it came to Peeta._

 ** _One month later (Katniss is three months along)_**

 _I was laying in bed with my heart aching for Peeta once again. Annie had just told me about him joining the military finally and I knew he was gone. I had lived for the past three months on the hope he'd come back to me. On the hope that he'd call or text or eve show up at my door. But now he was gone. I hadn't left my bed since Annie's call and I hadn't eaten since then either. I was just hopeless and depressed. I heard someone banging on the door. I didn't want to talk to anyone but I soon heard it opening, I must have left it unlocked. I continued staring at the wall tearfully thinking of my blonde lover only to hear Johanna calling me. "Brainless?! Brainless where have you been?" She finally comes into my bedroom and sighs. "Are you thinking of him AGAIN? Brainless you need to move on from him. For yours and the baby's sake"_

 _I put my right hand on my small baby belly. "I miss him Johanna. I know it's stupid but he was all I had for so long. I wasn't even close to Annie until our relationship was almost over. He was so sweet...I never even saw it coming. I don't know how to be a mom...and I don't think I can do it alone." My voice is cracking as more tears leak from my eyes._

 _I feel the bed dip down a bit near my feet then I feel Johanna lay down on her back beside me. "I don't know about him, but my ex boyfriend was a beautiful boy. He was tall and strong, funny as hell. But he would never shut up about sleeping together. So finally when we were alone one night, two months into our relationship and I let him. I ended up pregnant a month later and he split. He actually left town when I told him. My mom didn't want a slut in her house and sent me off to live with my aunt. Eventually my mom told me she didn't want me to come back and I stayed there until I went into labor. I was alone in the delivery room because my aunt was too old and frail to stay with me. I held a nurse's hand when I gave birth to my little girl...but she was stillborn. I never felt ready to be a mother before her birth...but when I lost her I felt a void in myself. I missed the baby I'd never even heard. Motherhood isn't something that you're ever ready for. But trust me...you'll love that baby, and because you love him or her you'll be a great mom."_

 _I don't have to look at her to know she's now crying, I hear her sniffle before she says "Now lets get you in the shower Brainless, you stink." I laugh for the first time in a while and do what she says. At least now I knew why she felt the need to help me._

* * *

 **Flashback over**

"So he's back in your life huh?...When is he gonna meet Ben?"

"Tomorrow morning..."

"I'm coming." She says instantly as she plops onto the futon behind her. I knew this was gonna happen, I knew it.

"Jo I don't know-"

"He's gonna be in Benny's life right?" She demands

"Ye-"

"And I'm his aunt Jo. I'm not going to just sit back while some guy comes into his life. I can't...Kat you know I can't just let someone hurt him." Johanna looks at me and for once she's being completely serious.

"Jo, you know I won't let him do that. I'll let you come tomorrow but you have to know that Peeta isn't like Jack. He never knew I was pregnant." She nods but says "So, what'd he say when you told him?"

"He was pissed off that I didn't tell him...he told me he loved me...and that even if I didn't want to be with him again he'd want to be a father to Bentley." I mutter. I didn't want to talk about it at the moment, not even to Jo. Mostly because I didn't even know what I even thought about all of this.

"I...Did you see him at the Seam?" Jo asks, taking the cues to change the subject.

"Not at first. I was closing the diner and he walked in, not knowing I worked there. He just got out of the army...and he asked if he could talk and we did for a little while...he told me he left because of my stepdad so he could protect me. And um after he left I went to the Seam where he then showed up because he heard that I worked there. He actually...um he quit for me...and gave me a job."

Johanna is back to annoyed again "Ok let me get this straight. So you met up with your ex, told him that you gave birth to his son, accidentally let him quit your job at the Seam for you, got a job WORKING FOR HIM, and agreed to meet up wit him tomorrow? Are you aware of just how idiotic that sounds?"

"I know Jo. I'll see you in the morning ok? We need to leave by 8." I sigh tiredly as the neon lights on the stove glare in the corner of my eye. She nods "I'll see you in the morning Brainless...and I'll be nice to Peter."

"It's Peeta and you know it Jo" I chuckle at her stupid joke.

"Alright you got me Brainless, see you." She gives me a hug before heading out of my apartment to hers. I smile as the door closes and I go to lock it when I hear the familiar pitter patter of feet in the hallway. "What are you doing up munchkin?"

I turn to find my little angel sneaking into the kitchen to peak at me from behind a counter and he giggles at me. He jumps out and raises his arm above his head. "Got you mama!". I laugh at my sweet little two year old. His blond hair shines even in the cruddy lights of our kitchen and his blue eyes glitter up at me just like his father's used to. The only bit of me you would think he had was maybe his little button nose. But he was a little version of Peeta, he was just as sweet and just as funny. Even if he couldn't speak very well yet.

"Hi baby, did you have lots of fun with your Auntie Jo?"

"YEAH! Aun Jo washed tv wit me!" He giggles

"That's great honey, but it's time for bed now munchkin." He gives me a pouty look but he runs to his bedroom with me trailing behind. I kissed his head and set him down in his bed where he quickly grabbed his stuffed lion. "Mama, not sleepy" he yawns but I only kiss his forehead again and start singing a lullaby. He's out like a light within that last few verses and I can't help but smooth his hair before creeping out of the room to shower. Even with him being two I couldn't help but think of how he looked when he was just a baby.

* * *

 ** _Flashback_**

 _I was huge now, barely eight months along and I looked ready to pop. The baby was always doing some damn backflips off my bladder which had me jumping for the bathroom at all hours. Jo had pretty much moved in after I had a scare a month ago, she'd kipped on the couch with every intention of making sure nothing else happened between now and the birth of my baby. I'd opted not to know the gender so I could be surprised when it was born. Boy was I in for a damn surprise. One night I had just got into bed when I felt something hurt, and it scared the hell out of me. I knew it wasn't a kick so I called out for Jo who came in half dressed looking ready to kill. "What's wrong?"_

 _"It hurts..." I groan and she pulls the covers off of me and makes me show her where exactly it hurts and how. And she smacks my shoulder! "It's damn contractions brainless! Get up and let's go."_

 _"But it's too early! My due date is next month!"_

 _"Kat relax, plenty of healthy babies are born a month early. It's at seven months when you have to worry now do you need help with your shoes or can you handle it?"_

 _I am really annoyed now, I slip on my shoes and grab a jacket while Jo grabs a bag with clothes for me and the baby before she drags me to the car 12 floors down. I don't like to recall the next few painful hours but I'd gone into labor and Jo decided to do something I hadn't expected. A nurse told her that if she wasn't related to me she'd have to stay out of the room. So she said "Well considering this is my girlfriend and my baby I think I should be in there." The nurse had turned white and let her in while I was trying to contain my laughter. She even kept up that act to keep herself from being pushed out of the delivery room. She even kissed my head a couple times while I had to push. No one can ever say she's anything but awesome under pressure. 14 hours later my son is born and Jo is the first to hold him after he's clear of goop. "You sure did make him beautiful Brainless." She whispers as she runs a finger against his little cherub cheek._ _I let her hold him for a while, I felt like she needed it more than I did._

 _Eventually she handed him to me and I couldn't believe that I'd brought him into this world. He was a beautiful little ball of baby fat, he had the bluest eyes I'd ever seen...just like Peeta. His hair was blonde like his father's too. As I took in his sweet little face I felt tears prick my eyes "He's so beautiful" I whisper as I find my fingers playing with his soft tuft of hair. After a while he began to cry and the nurse told me to try and breastfeed him. I was grateful when Johanna shooed her out of the room so I could try and much to my surprise my baby boy had no trouble learning to nurse. I can't keep the grin from my face as I gaze down at him dozing off as he continues to be fed. Soon he's asleep and finally seems to be full, so I carefully cover myself up while trying not to wake him. "Need me to hold him again Brainless?" Johanna asks from the doorway, I hadn't even noticed her come in. I laugh softly and nod at her "I could use a good arm stretch" I whisper. Jo rolls her eyes playfully and takes him gently "So what are you naming him?"_

 _"Bentley Haymitch Mellark..."_

 _"So you're giving him that guy's name?" She looks disapproving but at that moment I don't really care. "Yes I am. Peeta may not know him but he's a Mellark and he's going to be named as such." I know I may been a bitch about it but I couldn't call him anything else when he looked so much like his daddy._

 _"Alright alright keep your pants on Brainless...but Bentley is a cute name. I'll give you that." She smiles down at the little blue bundle in her arms and I couldn't help but ask her a question._

 _"Jo...could you be his godmother? I don't really trust anyone else to take care of my son as well as you." This was one of the few moments Jo lets all of her walls down, even with me. Her brown eyes are filled with tears, obviously thinking of her daughter. "He's so like how she was Kat, looking like a little angel that's graced you with itself. He's so beautiful. Like Lira was. I'd be honored just to be in his life. I'll do it." She looks down at him again before sniffling and handing him to me. After she does she puts an arm around my shoulder and rests her head on mine "Thank you Kat."_

* * *

 **Flashback over** **the next morning around 7:30**

I woke with a start as I slowly realized that I'd overslept. I groaned and rushed to get dressed and run a brush through my hair, all the while I hear a pounding on my door which is probably Jo. "I'm coming!" I shout as I shove a green dress over my head. I run in with my leggings half on and I open the door.

"Is this how you're going to go see your ex?"

"Fuck off Jo I just woke up." I mutter as I yank them up over my behind. I run back into my bedroom to find boots while Johanna calls "Need me to wake up the munchkin?!"

"Yes please! We'll have breakfast when we get there!" I shout

Thanks to Johanna we're completely dressed and ready to head out by 8. We pile into Jo's car and she heads off to the bakery she'd boycotted since she found out who Bentley's father was. "Is he going to constantly hit on you or anything?" Jo asks me

"No Jo, he wants to meet his son. He may love me but he wants to be a father before he does anything else with me." I'm confident, may not think Peeta is the best guy ever anymore but I know what he is like when it comes to kids.

"Do you want to be with him again?"

"I don't know Johanna. Do you have to ask all the hard questions right before we see him?!" I whisper so I don't make Bentley nervous. He doesn't like anyone to be angry or upset. Jo shuts her mouth after that and finally we pull in front of the bakery. "Mama! Cookies!" Bentley screams from the bak seat as the window full of treats comes into view. "I know Ben! Wanna go in?"

"YEAH!" He's excited by the prospect of sweets he starts kicking his feet, eager to be unstrapped from the car he finally is he damn near shoots out of the car and is by the door, quick as lightning. I don't have the chance to go get him before the door opens to reveal Peeta. He's wearing his baking apron and he already has flour in his hair. "Hi Katniss..." he starts before he notices Bentley.

"Hi!" Bentley grins at him but Peeta doesn't say anything, instead he says "This is him huh? I can't say he's anything but mine. You sure did make him beautiful Kat." He looks at me with his blue eyes shining with happy tears and I can't help but smile back at him. "I'm Bentley!" the two year old cries in an attempt to have the attention back on him. Peeta picks him up and says "I'm your daddy."

"Daddy" Bentley repeats making Peeta smile wider than I'd ever seen him smile. "um...are you guys hungry?" Peeta asks as he grins at the little boy in his arms.

"Yeah, Katniss over slept so no breakfast." Johanna says without looking at Peeta, as least she hadn't thrown a punch or insult just yet so I was proud. we file into the bakery after Peeta and the smell of cinnamon rolls hits our noses. I hear Bentley babbling in Peeta's ear and I whisper to Johanna "See, he's a good dad. Maybe not the best boyfriend but a good dad." She rolls her eyes and elbows me "Stay strong Brainless"

Before long we're sitting down to plates of warm cinnamon rolls and glasses of milk "So Katniss, are you looking forward to working here?" he asks as he tucks a napkin into Bentley's shirt.

"Um, yeah I guess...but I do need to know my work hours so I can get to the diner on time." I take a bite after I say this and lose myself in the warm rich taste.

"Um, I'll pay you enough so you only need to work here. I don't want you to have to work two jobs forever Kat..." He looks at me with such genuine concern but his tender gaze is interrupted by Johanna. "Uh huh and next you'll be saying that all she has to do is take your sorry a-...behind back. Lord knows she's spent enough time mooning over you."

"I know what I did was wrong but I want to make it up to her. And I don't need anyone to tell me that I screwed up. I'll consider myself lucky if Katniss even lets me near my son. I'll consider myself blessed if she takes me back for some reason." Peeta retorts. The sharpness of both of their tones was obviously beginning to bother Bentley. I can see his bottom lip quivering as he always did before he would cry.

"Both of you need to wait to have this conversation until little ears are elsewhere." I say in a mock happy tone in an attempt to trick Bentley into thinking everything was fine. The other two shut their mouths until we're finished eating after which Peeta closes the bakery and leads us to the apartment upstairs. He sets Bentley up with some children's toys he must have bought very recently. "Do you think we could all sit down and talk now?" Peeta asks softly as Bentley crashes his two new trains together.

"Yes. I think that needs to happen." Johanna says coldly.

We all sit in his somewhat bare kitchen and Peeta begins, "Alright, what is your name? And why do you hate me?" his eyes are trained on Jo and before she speaks I said a little prayer for civility that I knew would never come.

"Hm where do I start?! I met Katniss when she was one or two months along and she was ALONE, broke, and didn't even have a bed to sleep on. She'd been broken hearted since you fucked her and left. She lost more damn hope after her mother kicked her out because you knocked her up. Yet she kept fucking hoping that you'd come back to her. She did that during her whole pregnancy and when her baby looked just like you she missed you even more. I have more of a parent to that little boy than you could have been-"

"Now listen here" Peeta interrupts "I didn't know that she was pregnant. Had I known I would have come crawling back seconds later. And despite my stupid actions I _do_ love Katniss. Maybe ask me WHY I broke up with her." His face is red as he glares at Johanna, I didn't think he could hate anyone but as he looks coldly at her I can't help but feel trepidatious.

"Fine. Why did you break up with Katniss Pretty boy?" She is glaring back at him just as fiercely, how did I ever get stuck between these two?

"Alright, I was at Katniss's house ready to take her out for our date when her stepfather told me to break it off or he'd commit her again. And I hated-"

"Hold up! Again?" Jo turns to me and I blush bright red. I'd never told her about my past beyond Peeta. Her gaze intensified as I gulped quickly before beginning. "After my 15th birthday I got into a car accident with my father and younger sister Prim..."

* * *

 _ **Flashback**_

 _I loved going to the lake with my father and sister, my father and I would fish while my sister picked flowers and afterward we'd fry up the fish for lunch. On this beautifully sunny Saturday we spent the whole day there while my mother went to some charity dinner. We finally left the lake after dark and were on the road home as midnight came around. Prim was asleep in the back while my father and I were in the front of the truck, we sang along softly with the radio when suddenly a blinding light was shining through the driver's side window. The sounding of pained cries and crunching metal filled my ears, I felt white hot pain in the whole of my right side.I felt the bone in my arm break as I was thrown against my door. Then my head as blown back by the force of the airbag deploying. I didn't remember anything after that. And for that I'm thankful. I woke up in an ambulance as it raced down the highway with its sirens screaming. "Where's my sister" I croak to the EMT beside me as she tried to stop the bleeding from my head but she didn't answer me, she just slid my hand into hers comfortingly. I knew right then that she'd been gone long before they got there._

 _Over the next few weeks I was in and out of the hospital for my broken bones and my head injury. But it isn't my physical wounds that bothered me. I hadn't been able to sleep for more than an hour or two a night. I was constantly plagued by nightmares of the drunk driver slamming into us once again. But in my dreams I don't lose consciousness. I'm there while my father and my sister die. I wake up screaming and I am never comforted by my mother. She's been as bad off as me but instead of bad dreams she drowned her sorrows in alcohol and spent her nights in a drunken stupor. Months passed and my bones healed but I couldn't go a moment without thinking of our loss. But one night added the last straw to the already unbearable weight on my back. I heard a noise downstairs at around one or two in the morning and I'd assumed it was my mother stumbling home. I was half-right. It was my mother, but she wasn't alone. I crept down the stairs under the idea that I would have to put my mother to bed once again but instead of seeing her drunk on the floor, I saw her laying on top of some man. I was beyond horrified. I ran up to my room and broke down into tears, my mother was moving on. Not even six months after the death of my father. I had really lost him. I may as well have lost my mother with how she's been acting. I cried myself to sleep that night and I woke to the sounds of laughing downstairs. Something I hadn't heard in a year. I go down to find my mother and the mystery man laughing at the breakfast table. "Mama, who's this?"_ _I asked, fearing the answer._

 _"Oh, Katniss meet Romulus Thread. I've...been seeing him for the last few weeks..."_

 _"Oh...nice to meet you I guess...um mama could I talk to you?" I'm trying to avoid the stare of this Thread guy as my mother nods. I pull her into the living room "Mama don't you think it's a little soon. Daddy-"_

 _"We are not going to talk about it any more. They wouldn't want us to live in the past. Now Katniss don't be rude to him. I will not have this wrecked."_

 _She walks back into the kitchen and I feel queasy, my mother wanted to_ **forget** _them. I felt angry tears prick my eyes again as I ran for the cover of my bedroom. Weeks passed and my mother announced that we were moving in with Thread, I couldn't believe this. As my mother packed the downstairs I filled the tub in my bathroom. I didn't want to leave my home. I didn't want to forget my father and Prim. I began to wish I had died with them that night. The tub was full of steaming water which filled the whole of the bathroom as I opened the cabinet and pulled out the small box of razorblades. I set the box on the edge of the tub and slipped my clothes off before slipping into the bath. I knew my mother wouldn't notice my absence for a while so without hesitation I opened the box and gingerly picked up the small sharp piece. Visions of my life before their deaths flitted before my eyes, Prim's first birthday, my mom's first time fishing with us, my dad's fish fry days...with tears now streaming down my cheeks I whispered "I'm sorry Prim...dad. I can't anymore." I slid the blade across the flesh of my wrists and tried to relax as the blood dribbled down my hands and onto the bathroom floor. I don't know how long I laid there but as I was sliding out of consciousness I heard the door opening and my mother's voice._

 _I woke up three days later in a hospital with my ankles and my wrists restrained. "Mama?" I called as I pulled at the bonds, a nurse entered "Where am I?" I ask feeling frantic now._

 _"You're in Capital Psychiatric Ward, do you know how you got here?" She asks in a soothing voice_

 _"No. Where's my mom?!" I'm yanking on my bonds now as I become more and more aware of my surroundings. I'm in a white room with one window and no furniture besides my bed, a bedside table, and a single chair._

 _"Your mother was here yesterday dear, I'm sure she'll be back soon. So calm down or we'll have to give you a sedative." She says sternly now. I stop struggling as I look at this nurse. "Could you untie these then? I don't like being tied down"_

 _"Well with you being a danger to yourself I'm afraid we can't allow that at this time. Just calm down."_

 _"I am not a dan-"_

 _"Do not argue with me young lady. As an suicidal, underage patient we cannot allow you to do anything where you could attempt it again." With that she fucking left, I continued to try and pull my arm free for what felt like forever before someone came into my room. It was a doctor with green eyes and greying hair, "Hello Miss Everdeen, I'm your psychiatrist Dr. Grey. How are you feeling"_

 _"I'm scared, I want to see my mom." I say loudly as I look at the darkening sky out the window. The doctor begins to write something down and doesn't speak for a moment. "What is there to be scared of?"_

 _"I don't know anyone here, I am tied down, and I haven't seen my mother since I woke up! What is there to comfort me?" I nearly shout at this man but he doesn't even look at me as he continues to write on his clipboard. "Why did you try to kill yourself?"_

 _Tears prick my eyes as I begin to think about the last time I was awake. "I miss my father and my sister. My mom wants us to forget them both so she can get married to some guy she met a few months ago. I didn't want to live the lie."_

 _"It sounds like your mother just wants you all to be happy and move on." He says in an almost mocking tone_

 _"She wants to FORGET THEM!" I feel nothing but hatred for this doctor as he STILL continues to write on the damn clipboard. "Well Miss Everdeen I think you need to stay here with us for a while, you seem to be paranoid, slightly delusional, and clinically depressed." With that statement he leaves the room with me shouting after him that I was not crazy._

 _I was brought food and they released my hands and feet finally so I could handle myself. When it was dark out they told me it was time to go to bed. I lay awake in the sterile white room for hours and before I even realized it it was morning. My door was opened to reveal the nurse I'd seen first, she told me to follow the arrows on the floor to the common room. I did as I was told, if only to leave the room before the walls closed in around me. The hallways all looked the same and were nothing but white with bolted doors. As I walked I could hear the nurse following me quietly to make sure I made it. But as we walked through the halls I could hear the cries of the people behind the doors. Some sounded angry as the pounded on doors while others were howling and screaming intelligible words. By the time we reached the common room my skin was crawling and my hair was on end. But hen I looked around the room I didn't feel much better, I was one of the few younger people in the room and I was surrounded by the people that were well and truly mentally insane. There was one woman banging her head against the wall while one man was rocking back and forth on the floor with a half done puzzle in front of him. The one good thing about this room were the windows. They were huge and overlooking the woods. I nearly ran over to an unoccupied corner near a window and I curled up at the base of it. I don't know how long I sat there but I know a nurse brought a cart with food on it around twice. I got food both times in an effort to seem somewhat cooperative but as I watched the sun set I was losing hope that my mother would come to see me. I went through a week of this when my mother finally came to visit me, she sat down with me at a table in the common room. "Mama why haven't you been here?"_

 _"I've been setting up our things at the house Katniss, I wanted to make sure everything was ready for you to come home." She says_

 _"Well mama, I think I know why I'm so depressed. I miss da-"_

 _"I told you we weren't talking about it Katniss. I won't have it. You just need to move on." With that she went off to go talk to my doctor but when she left the nurse told me I'd be there for at least another week. Another week of being constantly depressed, alone, and surrounded by the mad. That one more week turned into three months. I eventually learned to hide my depression completely and got out. I didn't speak to my mother about anything considered sad and I barely spoke to her new fiancé at all. I would do anything to avoid that hell again._

* * *

 **Hi guys I hope you liked this one. Three more to go!**


	3. Everything to Me

**DA DA DA DA! Here it is guys!**

 **I DO NOT OWN HUNGER GAMES**

* * *

 **Back to Present in the apartment above the bakery**

As I finished regaling my days in the mental hospital to Johanna she's slack jawed and Peeta is simply staring into his tea cup. "So you never told me this why?!" Johanna whisper shouts

"I didn't think it was important. And I was a little preoccupied with giving birth and supporting my child. I'll get back to writing my autobiography when Bentley is older." I mutter sarcastically.

"And you, why didn't you just TELL her why you had to break up with her. Then she would have acted like you'd broken up with her till her 18th then boom, happily ever after. Honestly boys are so stupid." Johanna says with an angry look to Peeta

"I had about three minutes to think before Katniss came downstairs for our date. And bear in mind hat I as 18 and with my hot girlfriend. I wasn't really a fucking scholar at that particular moment." Peeta is blushing now as he seemed to be thinking that scenario over.

"So are you two going to hook up now? Since you're still in love with her and she now forgives you for her three years of hell?"

"Hey! I didn't think I'd put her through hell alright? Had I known I would have put a stop to it. I know it's not much of an excuse but it's all I've got. And what are you? Her girlfriend? Is that why you're so opposed to me being back?" He glares at Johanna accusingly and I can see the jealousy in his eyes as it had so often been.

* * *

 _ **FLASHBACK**_

 _I never realized how cute Peeta was in his wrestling uniform before we started dating but now at the six month mark I can't keep my eyes off of him when I'm in the stands. I cheer till my throat is sore when he's on the mat and as Peeta wins time and time again I'm certain I'll lose my voice. By the end of the match I'm too excited to see him. I'm nearly jump at the idea to wait for him outside of the lorckerrooms. I am not the only one to be waiting there as six or so other girls crowd around the door as it opens. I step back and keep a look out for my blonde boyfriend. But the first blonde out the door is Cato Baxter who heads straight for me with a smirk on his face._

 _"Finally decided to go out with me Everdeen?"_

 _"No, you forget that my BOYFRIEND is on the wrestling team as well." I retort but I don't have a chance to see how he reacts to my words as a hand yanks me into a warm pair of arms. I look up and catch those ocean blue eyes with mine and I can tell he's pissed. "Stay away from my girlfriend Baxter." Peeta says from over my head. I am almost tempted to yell at him but he pulls me out of the gym as quickly as he can so by the time I've found the words we are now in the darkening parking lot. "Peeta what was the point of that?! He's just an idiot!" I very nearly shout_

 _"I don't like the way he looks at you." He mutters as his cheeks are painted red. His ocean blue eyes are darker than usual as he looks down at me. After a moment he leans me against his car and slants his mouth over mine in a searing kiss. In six months he hadn't kissed me with this much passion before. When he pulls away he's almost shaking "Kat I know we haven't been together for long, but I don't think I could take losing you to anyone. Especially not Cato Baxter."_

 _I smiled slightly up at him and I pull his face down to mine again, after another long sweet kiss I whisper "You won't ever lose me to anyone Peeta"_

* * *

 **Flashback Over**

"So what if I'm her girlfriend? Are you homophobic?"

"No. I just want to know why you hate me this much!"

"Shut it both of you. I am not in the mood to deal with this. Peeta she is not my girlfriend, Johanna could not be more straight. And Jo, stop _trying_ to fight with him alright?" I say with a slam of my cup against the table. Johanna looks pissed and Peeta looks relieved. "Now I'm going to go sit with Bentley while you two talk this out. Because like it or to you are both going to be in Bentley's life. Jo you are his godmother and you've practically helped raise him. And Peeta you are the reason he is even here. You both need to step up and be adults." I finish my rant and head into the other room where my son is now playing a lively game of "HIDE FROM MOMMY" and as I "look" for Bentley I can only hope that those two will learn to get along.

* * *

 **Peeta's POV**

I am sitting across my kitchen table from the second most stubborn woman I have ever met, after Katniss of course. She's glaring at me with those sarcastic brown eyes ad I can't help but see right through them. She really cares for Katniss. She really cares for my son. She really cares for the two most important people in the world to me and they care about her. Otherwise she wouldn't be here. "I...I want to apologize. I came home with the vain hope that I could win Katniss back. In all actuality I'm so grateful for the fact that Katniss and Bentley have had you for all of this time. I don't know what would have happened if they didn't." I am hoping that what I'd just said would be suffice to get her to talk to me.

"You know that little boy has your last name? Even I couldn't have changed her mind when she was naming him." She looks at me coldly before continuing "I don't know what she'll do but if she goes back to you, and you hurt her again I swear to god I will end you. Got it? Same with that little boy. You hurt him, you'll be in more pain I guarantee." She says in a low voice

"I'd expect nothing less, does this mean you'll still hate me or do you think you can put that aside unless I screw up again?" I ask looking at her hopefully.

"Well...I'll put it aside for Bentley...and as long as you keep Katniss swimming in those stupid cheese buns she loves I'll be good. Oh and those cinnamon rolls for me." She smirks. I can't help but chuckle as I extend my hand for her to shake, she takes it and says "So who's getting the first date, Kat or Bentley?"

"Probably Kat, at least an apology dinner before I completely jump into our son's life you know? Think she'll be free tonight?"

"If she quits the diner then yeah." She laughs and smacks my arm. "Better go see about that huh lover boy?" She'd done a complete 180, she was being friendly...enough. She seemed to just be sarcastic in nature so I brushed that off and walked into the living room to find Katniss on her hands and knees chasing the two year old. "Daddy!" Bentley squeals as his eyes catch mine, at that something in me jumps for joy at the sight of this small boy. "I'm gonna get you!" I hear Katniss laugh in a mock monster voice which makes Bentley squeal again as he takes off to hide behind the sofa. I watch her for a while as she catches and tickles the little boy. As I looked at the two of them I thought back to my old fantasies in high school. Specifically the ones after I bought her engagement ring.

* * *

 _ **Flashback/Fantasy**_

 _I looked down at the beautiful little boy laying in his car shaped bed and I couldn't believe the fact that I'd help make that sweet baby angel. His blonde hair looked white in the moonlight streaming through the window. "Night buddy" I whispered before kissing his head and leaving. I crept out of the room in an effort not to wake the sleeping child and I see my wedding portrait on the wall directly in front of me. It always makes me smile as I gaze at the picture. Behind Katniss and I was the church where we married, with white petals falling through the air around us. I have my hair loose around my face with a ring of white flowers on my head and I'm in a loose fitting pirate style shirt. My arm is around Katniss who's grinning and glowing like an angel. Her hair is flowing around her face with baby's breath braided in and her dress is simple, flowy, and long sleeved. The flowers she's holding are simple white lillies wrapped in a green ribbon. I can remember the happy yet tearful kisses we'd shared all day. "How many times will I catch you staring at that picture?" a hushed voice asks from down the hall. There in a simple green nightgown is my Katniss, her hair is up in its normal braid and her hands are resting on her large round stomach. "How are my girls tonight?"_

 _"You're so sure it's a girl, how do you know its not another boy?" She laughs before waddling into our bedroom with me now close behind. "I just know, I was right about the first one wasn't I?" I chuckle. She rolls her eyes but kisses me softly "You are so cute when you're excited. Have you thought of any names?"_

 _"Willow" I say instantly as I think of our special place. The place we'd first said we'd loved one another, the sight of our first kiss, our first date, and the place where I proposed. Katniss kisses me after a moment of her eyes misting. "You are such a romantic."_

* * *

 **Flashback over**

I fronted at the thought, that future was obviously not possible now. I'd royally screwed up. I'd be lucky to be friends with her again, let alone married. I'd probably ruined our special place for her. "Peeta? What's wrong?" Katniss breaks me from my thoughts with her question, Bentley is still giggling and playing with her braid as she looks at me with...with worry on her face. I didn't really expect that but I was happy to see that she cared.

"Um nothing, I was just um...are you free tonight?"

"Um...I have work." She blushes

"Do you like working there?"

"No. But I am not just going to quit. I'll give my two weeks and be nice about it. The owners have been good to me Peeta. I get off at 10 tomorrow. Why?"

"I wanted to take you to dinner and talk about...everything." I look at her hopefully and I see her cave when she no longer can hold my gaze. "We can have a really late dinner I guess."

"I'll make you dinner" I grin at the chance to cook for her, knowing most places would be beginning to close at that point. She gives me an exasperated nod before asking "So I guess I am coming here after work?"

* * *

 **Katniss's POV**

I sat on the couch after Peeta and Jo came back in, Jo sat beside me while Peeta decided to play on the floor with Bentley. I couldn't help but watch the pair, both blonde, blue eyed, and wearing an identical grin. Bentley didn't have more than one male role model, and he'd never been particularly close with Finnick and he'd never really spent time around another male other than him. But it was obvious when you saw the two of them together, Bentley was instantly taken with his father and his father with him.

"Mama!" Bentley grins all of a sudden and runs to me and tackles my knees. "Mama! I wanna hug" I pull up my grinning baby and hug him tightly but after a moment I can feel a pair of eyes on me once more. I look to Peeta who's still on the floor, he was looking at me in the way he used to. Those blue eyes shining with a half smile on his lips. That gaze sends shivers down my spine exactly like it did when I was 16.

"Well lovebirds I have to head into work, need me to drive you and Ben back home Kat?" Jo asks as she stretches from her spot on the couch.

"I was thinking they could spend more time with me, I could drive them wherever they need to go." Peeta says casually but obviously hoping I'd agree, Jo obviously thought it was a good idea to because all she did was say goodbye to Bentley and I before walking out of the door.

"Don't you have to open the bakery?" I asked hoping he did

"I don't _have_ to open it. I still have a few people who come in to open it from when my dad ran it. I think they can cover for me today so I can get to know my son. So did you two have any errands to run today?" Peeta asks with a grin that somehow melts me even more than the last. "Um...we had to go to the market, I need to pick up some vegetables, some rice, and milk." I mumble, still rocked by the whole situation. Peeta nods, "Maybe we could go do some shopping today. I have a couple Christmas presents and some birthday gifts to make up for."

"Peeta-"

"I _want_ to Kat, you forget. I still have my trust fund and the money I've saved in the army. I'm fine." He doesn't let me argue as he cleans up Bentley before dragging us out the door. He shows us to a silver Kia Optima in which he'd already gotten a car seat. "I bought one right after talking to you last night..." He blushes sheepishly. With Bentley safely strapped in the back Peeta started the car and drove off in the direction of a small shopping mall. I look at him as he drives, so many things about him were the same. The way his eyes narrowed when something on the road caught his eye, the way his nostrils flared when someone cut him off, even the way he'd lean back slightly in his seat when he came to a stop light. But so many things had changed. Blonde stubble was clearly visible on his cheek, but it didn't look as scruffy as it did on others. It made him look more grown up. He was even more defined than he'd been back then too. His skin was a darker tan and he even seemed a bit taller. He really had grown up. All too soon we pull into the mall I snap out of it and I quit staring at him. He pulls Bentley from the car and grins "Where to first?"

"Um...Bentley could use some new clothes." I didn't want to go into any more detail than that. I was ashamed of the fact that I needed to buy my baby's clothes at thrift stores in order to be able to feed him too. I was blushing but Peeta said nothing, he simply grabbed my hand and pulled us to the nearest baby clothing store. We spent nearly half an hour there with me arguing with him.

"Peeta he doesn't need a whole new wardrobe"

"I know toddlers go through their clothes fast Kat, I just want to make things easier on you." He says while grabbing a dinosaur t-shirt for Ben. I wanted to argue again but Peeta winks at me before grabbing all of the clothes in our little basket and carrying them to the counter. "Kat consider it as one of the many gifts to help with our son, and to say I'm sorry to you." What could I say to that? Tell him to fuck off and that Bentley was my son? I couldn't exactly do that so I let him pay for the mound of clothes. During all of this Bentley was jumping in and out of the wracks of clothes to "scare" us.

Once out of the store Peeta holds Bentley's hand before saying "Should we get mama some clothes too Ben?"

"YAAAAH" The toddler giggles obviously not knowing what was going on. Just glad to get attention. "Peeta I'm fine with what I have, you really don't need to do that."

"I know I don't need to. I want to Kit Kat." He smiles at me hopefully before turning to Ben once more "Isn't that right little guy?"

"Yah!" He giggles again. "Traitor" I mumble as I follow them into a department store full of women's clothing. To be quite honest I needed clothes fairly badly but I didn't want to have to depend on my ex boyfriend to buy them for me. "What do you need first? And I know when you're lying so don't bother Kat" He grins at me and I feel myself blush as I think of some of the items I needed more than others. "I need more underwear I guess..." My face is blood red as he leads me over to the lingerie section. I would have died of embarrassment right there, had Bentley not broken the tension. He'd run away from Peeta straight for a pile of bright pink thongs. "Ribbon!" He giggles loudly as he grabs a pair. Peeta is already laughing his ass off at our son as I quickly grab the scrap of lace from him. I can't help it as I hear Peeta guffawing, I begin to laugh uncontrollably too. Bentley is giggling because we're laughing and I pick up my cute little guy.

"Well he is a man, knows what he likes." Peeta jokes with a small smirk. I roll my eyes at his playful tone and push him to the bathrooms to check Bentley's diaper while I grabbed what I needed from that section. But I wasn't alone for long. I'd just grabbed a pair of black lace boy shorts I felt a hand on my ass. I turn expecting to see a cheeky Peeta only to find a man with dark black hair and brown eyes. His eyes were cold and hungry and his mouth was curled in a smirk. Not playful like Peeta's, but more entitled.

"Hello there, I'm pretty sure I've seen you before. I think the last time I saw you, you were wearing that sexy little cat tail." His eyes rake over me lewdly and I can't help but cross my arms over my chest.

"I'm not interested." I growl, I hated when people recognized me from the Seam. It was never pleasant. I pushed at his chest but he didn't budge, I didn't want to cause a scene in a department store so I kept quiet. Stupid, I'll grant you but I was embarrassed.

"You didn't even know what I was offering. I could make you pretty happy princess." He's leaning in too close now, I can feel his breath on my face and I cannot help but grimace at its foul odor. He now had his hands on either side of my hips, resting on the lingerie table behind me. "I can't imagine you like showing off your assets every night."

"Get off me. I said I wasn't interested." He was smirking but his smirk disappears when someone yanks him off of me. I release the breath I've been holding as I see Peeta towering over this creep. He has Bentley in one arm and his other hand still holding the man's collar. You can see the fury in Peeta's cold blue eyes, his mouth was in a thin angry line on his handsome face. Bentley however looked rather frightened, his lip had begun to tremble and he'd had his fists clenched in Peeta's shirt. I quickly grab Bentley and look on as Peeta begins to speak. "What do you think you were doing? You have ten seconds before I break your damn face, so I'd get talking."

"I was just I was...I...she...fuck." The man was now trembling and damn near crying at the hands of my normally sweet Peeta. But as I look around I realize just how bad this could look for Peeta.

"Peeta. We'll just grab security ok? You don't need to be arrested because he's an idiot." I whisper in his ear as Bentley tugs at my hair nervously. Peeta gives the man one more glare before heading off in search of security, all the while dragging him along. I wait there, underwear forgotten and nervously looking around. I felt uneasy when Peeta left so when he finally returned I felt the weight disappear from my shoulders. He kisses my head comfortingly as I notice the person who'd followed him. "I am so sorry ma'am. That is not tolerated in this store and I am so happy to have that creep thrown out. Please let me know if you need any help and I'll be happy to knock 50% off of your total when you check out." The manager says, her blonde hair is pulled into a tight bun and she looks very anxious. Probably nervous that we would sue or something. I tell her it's fine and thank her for the discount before she rushes off.

"I'm sorry I didn't get here soon enough to stop him from doing all that Kat" Peeta whispers as he envelops me in his big strong arms. He smushed Bentley between us and kissed his head as he hugged us both close. "I'm so sorry Kat."

"Peeta it isn't your fault." I tell him as he pulls away, his eyes are red and he looks ready to break down. "What did he say to you?"

"He told me he recognized me from the seam, he was offering to make me happy. Whatever that means." I mumble while fidgeting with Bentley's shirt collar. I hear Peeta let loose a shuttering breath. "I'm so sorry Kat."

"It's fine Peeta...do you wanna leave?"

"No, you need clothes still. But I'm not leaving you alone this time...I'll just turn around while you're picking underwear." He gives me a determined look and I don't argue. I simply hand him Bentley and turn back to the small pile I'd had moments ago. I mill around the underwear shelves for a few more minutes when I notice Peeta, he was keeping an eye on me but he still looked guilty. I bit my lip then decided. "Hey Peeta...think you could help me pick out something?"

I was blushing already but it worked, his guilty look melted away with a shy smile and a sweet blush on his cheeks.

* * *

 **30 Minutes Later**

I rolled my eyes for the tenth time in the last five minutes. Peeta was holding Bentley, the bag from the baby store, and the three bags he'd insisted on filling at the women's department store. "Peeta honestly, you bought me too many clothes. But since you refuse to return some of them you could at least let me help you carry things."

He turned to me and smirked "I'm just fine, and after I drop these off at the car I can take us to lunch."

"Peeta this really is too much, you don't need to spend any more money on us." I'm blushing again, he was doing exactly what he used to...

* * *

 _ **FLASHBACK**_

 _Peeta smirked at me across the table as he handed me a bag, it was our one month anniversary and he insisted on taking me out to celebrate. He'd taken me to the best Italian place in town, ordered me the best appetizer, the best entree, and a absolutely beautiful dessert. I didn't even want to know how much this dinner was costing him. "Oh Peeta really, you shouldn't have. You've already spent so much on me." I'm blushing in the dim candlelight as he scoots around the curved booth so he's right next to me with his present._

 _"What kind of boyfriend would I be if I didn't get you something?" He smiles, his hair looks golden in the candlelight, his blue eyes are even brighter in the dim room, his breath smelled like the raspberry cheesecake we'd shared, and I felt his warm calloused hands on my arms as he draws me in closer. I shiver as his mouth slants over mine, I lose myself in his kiss as the world falls away. I almost want to whine when he pulls away but he slides the bag into my hand. I roll my eyes at him but I pull out the tissue paper to reveal a pile of dark green material. I pull it out to find a knee length dress, it was beautifully formfitting at the top and it flared out just a touch at the waist. I bite my lip, I'd admired this dress when were at the mall on our second date. He'd remembered, he even got my size right._

 _"Thank you Peeta, this is so sweet." I kiss him and feel the guilt settle in my stomach, "I didn't get you anything though."_

 _"Just having you is a gift to me Kit Kat." He replies in a honeyed tone that would have made bees jealous._

* * *

 **FLASHBACK OVER BACK TO PRESENT**

I have never had to pay for a thing when Peeta was with me. I good portion of the time it was frustrating, I wanted to be able to take are of myself. But he was too sweet to deny most of the time. And with him holding his mini him I couldn't say it. He dragged us into this lovely little greek restaurant. Bentley is in love with the pictures on the walls and the music blaring through the sound system across the room. He wiggled around in his high chair excitedly while we looked at the menus. "So Peeta, what did you do while in the army?" I ask, like a normal person tryin to catch up with an old friend.

"I just hopped from base to base, doing what I was told. I never did anything all that exciting. I got yelled at a fair bit, made a couple friends, and I missed you. Um...What was Bentley like when he was a baby?" He looks like he's worried about my reaction.

"He was a pretty content baby, he only cried when he was hungry or uncomfortable. He was very chubby and all he did for a good while was eat and sleep. For a few months he had to be woken to nurse." I laughed at the memory of Bentley as an infant.

"So you breastfed him too?" He's smiling at my little stories about our son. "I can imagine you with him like that, you must have been so beautiful Kat."

"Peeta, more than half the time I was half asleep with my hair in a rats nest" I'm blushing, as the heat creeps up my cheeks I see him grin even wider. "I think you're beautiful like Kat, then again I think you're gorgeous all the time." I felt the blush creep up onto my forehead as he said that, I knew he still wanted to be with me. But I hadn't been expecting him to be so open with it. Maybe the army had made him blunt.

We eat and talk more about the years we'd been apart, after lunch Bentley is worn out so we return to Peeta's apartment. He puts Bentley to bed in a guest bedroom while I sit in the kitchen. I knew I'd be alone with him for the few hours while Bentley slept, so I tried to think of what to speak with him about. I don't come up with anything and am still trying to think of anything when he comes in.

"He's bushed, he should be out for a while." He smiles

"Could...Um...I...I don't really know what to talk about with you anymore..." I mumble defeatedly.

"How about we talk about the elephant in the room. Katniss I love you, more than I ever have. And not just because you had Bentley. I came home thinking I would come and beg for you to come back to me on my hands and knees. And if you wanted that I would still do it. I love you and our son Kat, if you return some semblance of that feeling to me then we can go as slow or as fast as you want. Being with you and having children has been a dream of mine for years. Even before we started dating...of course I thought we'd be together when you were pregnant. But I can't change that now, I just need you to know that I will work for the rest of my life to make it up to you. As your lover or as your friend." He is solemn, as though he expected me to laugh in his face at his proclamation.

"Peeta, I know you love me...and I love you too. But I don't know if we'll ever be able to be the same." My palms are sweating as I wait for his response. He's looking at his hands thoughtfully and I can't help but feel he's going to tell me to leave or something of the sort. But he looks up and catches my eye, his blue eyes are filled with tears "So, are you saying you can't give us a chance? I'll understand if you are...I just have to know Kat."

"Peeta, I want to give us a chance-" I begin but I don't have the chance to speak anymore as he envelops me into his warm arms, he's just holding me. Not saying a word, not kissing me, just reveling in the fact that I'd accepted him back. I can't help myself, I wrap my arms around his waist and breathing in his scent. It felt like some missing piece in me snapped back. "Wait...But we can't go to fast Peeta...I don't want to move in or sleep together or anything like that yet. You have to understand that this is strange...it's all I've wanted for years...and to suddenly get it after letting go of that dream...Its a little much." I whisper into his shirt, he's nodding with his face still in the crook of my neck. I smile slightly and we hold each other for another long moment. "Thank you Kat, I don't deserve it. But I'll give you everything I have Kat."

"You don't have to. Peeta if we're going to work, we have to be everything to each other. Not just giving each other things."

"You already are everything to me Kat."

* * *

 **I know I know it got really mushy and all that but I like this better than the original. Thanks for reading! I'll get to the next chapter right away!**


	4. The Meadow That Started It All

**Sorry I haven't posted in a while I've had a severe case of writer's block. I know I changed a lot and I'm sorry but I love where it's going now! Don't worry, you still have some drama coming from Peeta's mom!**

 **I do not own the hunger games.**

* * *

 **Peeta's POV**

I held Katniss to me as tightly as I could, for fear that she'd disappear into thin air if I didn't. I don't know how long I held her but after a while she pulled away slightly and giggled in my ear "Can we at least sit down? I don't feel like standing here until Bentley wakes up"

I chuckle and let her go "How about we watch a movie or something? Cheesebuns could be involved.."

Katniss smiles cutely before nodding "So cheese buns and a movie? What movie?"

"Well I've got Netflix so whatever you want baby. I'll go get the snacks ok?"

"Um...do you remember our old movie nights?" Katniss blushes, she's thinking back to our low key dates in high school.

* * *

 _ **FLASHBACK**_

 _I can't stand the waiting when I'm nervous. This will be Katniss's first time in my house, we'd been going out for about two months but we only went out to places. Mostly the meadow, dinner, and the movies. I didn't really want her to come to my house and have a chance to meet my mother. So when she'd asked to come over once again I made sure that it was a weekend that my mother would be gone to see my aunt. Katniss was coming over any second. I couldn't stop pacing, I'd made up my bedroom as best I could; I'd shoved all of my sketches into my closet, I'd cleaned up all of the plastic water bottles from my desk and dresser, and I'd cleaned up all of my laundry from the floor (yeah I'm a messy guy but I'm 16) and I had set up the perfect movie...The Princess Bride...don't judge me for being mushy._

 _"PEETA! YOUR GIRLFRIEND IS HERE" My brother shouts from the living room and I cringe. I run out before he can call out again or say anything embarrassing. I get in there and Katniss is looking just as nervous as I feel. Her hair is in its patented braid, she's wearing a black t-shirt, a pair of slightly torn up skinny jeans. "Hi Kat, you're met my brother Rye...and um I've got the movie set up in my room."_

 _She blushes a dark pink but nods and waves a goodbye to my brother who's now winking at me suggestively. I show her to my room and we sit on my bed for the first few minutes of the movie before she grabs the remote from me and pauses it. "Peeta...could we talk about this a bit? I know I'm your girlfriend and I'm in your room. But I don't think I'm ready for anything like sex..." She's hugging her knees at this point and looking at me with those sweet puppy dog eyes. "You don't have to Kat...we can just hang out and snuggle." I'm blushing at the corniness of my little speech but she's grinning now. She kicks off her shoes and pulls me to the corner of my bed by the wall, she grabs my blankets and pulls them over us before she lays her head on m chest. She then played the movie and laid there, I half expected her to move after a few minutes...and she did. Just not away from me. She slid onto my lap with a small smile as we continued to watch Wesley fight Inigo._

 _After that night this became a tradition, it became the go to for our date nights and it was definitely one of my favorites. I mean, what boy wouldn't love having their girlfriend sitting on their lap for two hours?_

* * *

 **Flashback Over**

"I remember them Kat" I smile at the thought of our old dates. She blushes but doesn't look away from me, I really did miss the little things about her. She goes into the living room, finds a blanket and waits for me to come in. I have a small plate with a couple cheese buns and two bottles of sprite in my other hand. "Picked anything yet Kat?"

"I like this...it's called my fake fiancé. It's pretty funny" She smiles. I sit down with her on the couch and much to my surprise she climbs onto my lap. "Do you mind if I'm here?"

"No no I like having you there" I smile nervously. All of a sudden it's like I'm back in high school doing this for the first time. She snuggles into my chest with a cheese bun in her fingers as the movie starts. As we watch I can feel her relaxing even more against me, the smell of her coconut shampoo in her hair is like a drug. I don't even pay attention to the movie as she watches, I'm mesmerized by her face. The way she reacts to every scene on the screen, the small smile she wears when she's had a bite of my cheese bun, the little gleam in her eyes when she knows what funny thing is about to happen next. I don't really have a sense of time as I watch her, I'm snapped out of it when Katniss turns to me and catches my eyes. To my great surprise she says nothing, she only tears off a bit of bun and feeds it to me. I am still locking eyes with her as I chew the piece she gave to me. "Peeta...I...Do you like the movie?" She stutters as the blush once again creeps up her cheeks.

"Yeah, it's great..." I lie as we continue to stare at one another. _Her grey eyes are endless, I could lose myself in them and I wouldn't even care._ I think to myself as we are nearly nose to nose with one another.

"MAMA!" A shout sounds through the house and it causes us to practically jump apart. "MAMA" Bentley calls again, Katniss is already halfway to his bedroom while I'm still wondering what just happened. She comes back a few minutes later with a ruffled looking Bentley. "Look Ben, it's daddy" Katniss says quietly in his ear. "Hey buddy, good nap?" I chuckle as he lays on his mother's shoulder. "No nap" he mumbles as he lazily plays with the end of Katniss's braid.

"He's always a little logey after his nap. He'll be ok in a few minutes."

"What if he needs to sleep more?" I ask worriedly

"If he sleeps any more he won't sleep tonight." Katniss chuckles. She plays with his fine hair with that thoughtful smile on her face. "Kit Kat, you're an amazing mom. I always thought you would be." I blurt out, she grins shyly and kisses Bentley's head. What had I done to deserve this beautiful woman and precious child?

* * *

 **Katniss's POV**

After a very...interesting morning with Peeta he let me go back to our apartment to clean, wash the new clothes, and make sure that Ben was ready to spend a night with Aunty Jo. Bentley was having a great afternoon, his daddy had given him an extra cookie for the walk home, he got a new dinosaur from his daddy, and he was going to watch a movie with auntie Jo. So of course he was bouncing all around the apartment.

"Mama!Dino!" He giggles when he finds me folding his dinosaur blanket, he runs around me with his new blue stegosaurus giggling. "Roaar!"

"Woah, are you a Dinosaur Ben?"

"YEAH!" He's out of the room within seconds, roaring at everything from his other toys, to the furniture, and even to pictures on the walls. I chuckle at his antics, he was excitable; much like Peeta was. Not that I'd ever seen him roaring at things around the house...I laugh out loud at the image of Peeta doing that. It was absurd but I couldn't help it. Bentley looked so much like him, acted so much like him, so it wasn't hard to imagine.

I continue folding the laundry while my date with Peeta loomed over my head. What would I wear? What in the world would we talk about? Would he realize he doesn't want me anymore? I'm working myself up so after a while I'm a nervous mess. It wouldn't just hurt me if he left this time. It would hurt my baby boy. Did I want to take that risk?

I walk out to the living room to find Bentley playing with his new toy. "Mama! I got a daddy toy!" He grins while holding up the dinosaur, "I know honey, It's very nice huh?" I smile but he's so excited. He was already hooked on the new man in his life. If I pushed Peeta away just because of my fear I could hurt my baby even more. I bite my lip as Ben babbles about his toys to me sweetly. I'd work to make this relationship work for Bentley.

* * *

 **Later (evening)**

I'm busying myself with tucking Bentley into his toddler bed and I cannot help but smile as he snuggles i with his favorite piglet blanket. "Night Ben" I whisper before kissing his sweet little head.

"Night mama" He yawns. I hear Joanna in the living room turning on netflix and I can't help but chuckle. She'd probably brought over a pizza, a two liter, and was getting ready for a walking dead marathon. When I had tiptoed out of Bentley's room I caught sight of Rick Grimes in his sheriff deputy uniform. Yep, Walking Dead marathon.

"Jo, do you ever tire of watching this stuff?" I laugh, Joanna is sitting on the couch in a black tank top, purple sleep pants and her black sneakers are by the front door. She smirks at me "Shouldn't you be getting ready for your date tonight? I'm pretty sure he's coming to pick you up soon."

I blush, I hadn't worried about what to wear in such a long time. So going on a date had frazzled me quite a bit. I was currently wearing a pair of black shorts, a green tank top, and a pair of bunny slippers. "Go get dressed brainless. It's dinner with your baby daddy, try to look nice." Joanna teases and I can't help but shoot her a glare. I didn't need anything else to feel pressured about.

"I'm going I'm going. Just watch your zombies." I rush to my bedroom with a blush on my cheeks, I get to my closet ad beginning rifling through things I find myself fingering some of my older clothes, the ones from high school. I didn't really know if most of them would fit. I grabbed a white dress, I had bought it especially for a date with Peeta...I hadn't worn it since. I slide my hand over the soft fabric as I wonder if I should even try it on. It seemed to outshine the rest of the clothes so I decide eventually to try it on. As I pulled it on I felt a weight leave my shoulders. I look at myself in the mirror and it still fits me perfectly. I think of how this dress looked on me. I didn't look like a little girl any more. Something about this dress made me look like an adult...or maybe that was the dark circles under my eyes. I do a quick spin and I smile slightly. The skirt flared out when I spun before falling back to my knees. There weren't any sleeves so my tan shoulders were looked even darker with the white of the dress on it. I zipped it up and looked in the small mirror once again I pulled my hair out of its messy braid just to see how it would look. I fluffed it out a bit just as I hear a knock on the door to my apartment. "Hey Johanna, is she ready?" I hear Peeta ask a moment later. "Literally kill me" I mutter as I break from my thoughts. I grab a pair of black flats and a black coat. I pull them on as I hear Johanna start talking...never a good sign.

"Yeah she's still picking out lingerie in there, maybe go hurry her ass up..." Her tone is teasing and I'm sure Peeta's face is red

"Shut it Jo! I'll be out in a sec." I shout, I grab a very small tube of pink lipgloss (I'd gotten it from Jo for Christmas) and put some on before throwing the tube in my purse along with my keys and phone.

"Then get your ass out here brainless!" She laughs

"I'm coming now." I growl as I march out of the door. "Hey...sorry about her...she's an idiot"

"Sure brainless." Johanna smirks, "Don't forget a condom this time. Have fun you kids." With that horrifyingly embarrassing statement she goes back to the couch and unpauses Netflix. When she notices we haven't left she waves us off and Peeta laughs at this, I smile slightly...I was at least glad they were getting along. Peeta takes my hand and leads me out "Bye Johanna!" He laughs as he closes the door. For the first time that night I looked at him, I mean straight at him.

His blonde hair was still fairly short and shined gold even in the ugly dim lights of the apartment hallway. He was wearing a pristine white button up and kaki pants. His shoes were a pair of older brown ones and a watch glittered silver on his wrist. I hadn't seen him in something other than a t-shirt and jeans for years.

* * *

 **Peeta's POV**

I was nervous as I stood there in the dingy hallway of the apartment building. The hallway walls were an ugly brown color with the paint and even the drywall chipped in places. The carpet beneath my feet was probably some other color originally, now it was a dingy brown and the carpet smelled of rotted food, moth balls, and a horrible acrid odor that had to be some type of cleaning material. I didn't care though, the very idea of knocking on the door seemed terrifying. Like our first date all over again...well there were a few differences.

* * *

 _ **FLASHBACK (FIRST DATE, THEY'RE 16)**_

 _I bit my lip as I tried to stop the shaking in my hands. I wasn't even going over to Katniss's house for another one hour. I wiped the butter from my hands and grabbed a pan of raw rolls to put in one of the bakery ovens, I'd done this a thousand times. When the oven door was opened the hot air hit my face and threw me back in time. I'd grown up with these things, they still smelled like cheese buns I'd just baked. I had old scars from these ovens that I wore almost proudly. Baking calmed my nerves...except now. Katniss was a different thing. The only thing in my world that I would give up everything for. I'd loved her since I'd met her. Not that she spoke to me or anyone else. She was the most beautiful girl I'd seen in my life, she had the best smile (though I didn't see it often), she had the most beautiful voice too._

 _I was so lost in thought as I worked that when I went to take a tray of buns out of the oven and burned my arm, I cried out in surprise as the white hot pain shot up my arm. It wasn't bad but it was enough to make me drop the pan. The pan hit the floor with a crash, half of the buns stayed on the tray but the rest ended up in the floor or in the base of the oven. I didn't have time to pick a single thing up as a hand hit the back of my head._

 _"You useless little brat! Wasted! You wasted product!" I hear her shout from behind me. I try to start picking things up in the vain hope that she would only yell. It looked like that would be it but I was wrong. As I placed the hot tray on the counter she was on me again. She made me look at her "Where is your head?"_

 _"Mom I didn't mean-" I got a smack in the face at that. I didn't look up. I knew I should fight back. But I'd always been taught to never hit a woman. I was hit once more and told to clean up the mess as she shouted and stomped from the kitchen. I'd been lucky to have just been hit with her hands. I sniffed and went to run my burn under cold water before getting on my knees to pick up the rolls that had hit the floor. Once those were in the trash I grabbed some oven mitts and tongs to get the ones that had been thrown into the base of the oven. Before beginning the hot part of the work I caught a glimpse of my face in the shined surface of a hanging pan. My bottom lip was split and my left eye was swelling. I looked horrible. I cursed as I went to clean out the now burning baked goods...What would Katniss think? She'd finally agreed to go out with me and I started screwing it up before I even took her out._

 _It took me another hour and a half to clean EVERYTHING up and I was cussing my self out as I actually ran up to my room in the apartment upstairs. I slammed into my room looking for the clothes I'd set out for the date. I was trying desperately to clean myself up and get out the door at the same time. It was a forty minute drive to her house and I made it in 25...not legally but I didn't really care. I was so late...I wanted to cry as I pulled up to her house to find her glaring at me from the porch. She marched to my truck with her face rather red. She yanked the door open to the passenger side and opened her mouth, no doubt ready to bite my head off only for her angry face to fall. It was replaced by something I felt was even worse. "Peeta...what happened?" She whispers_

 _"My...um...I dropped a tray of cheese buns this afternoon...and my mom hit me." I mumble. I can't believe I'm telling her this. Her grey eyes were just so full of worry...it was like words vomit._

 _"She hit you? Peeta how-" Her voice sounds higher now and I feel the humiliation heating up my face. I wanted to die there and then. I'd screwed up my only chance with her and now she knew that my mother beat me. I felt tears coming to my eyes as she spoke but I couldn't let her finish. "I know I'm late so we can't go to the movie...but we could get some food and find a place to talk right?" I know she's going to say no. I know she is. She has to be about to say it_

 _"Ok..." She gets into the truck and shuts the door. "What will we get to eat?" She smiles at me...at ME! How could I have gotten a date with this angel beside me. An angel who didn't care if I was broken. Who didn't care that I was just a baker._

* * *

 **FLASHBACK OVER**

I'm still staring at the peeling paint of the door when it opens without a knock. "Hey Bread Boy. I heard you walk up. Were you ever going to knock on the door?" Johanna smirks at me in her pjs and walking dead blaring on the tv behind her. "Hi Johanna..."

"Alright I'm going to give you a damn hand you idiot. I am going to close the door and you're going to knock and when I answer you're going to ask if she's ready ok?" She was offering to cover for my stupidity...well I would definitely like to not look like an idiot tonight. "Ok..." She shuts the door quietly and after a moment I knock. I hear the show pause behind the door then a second later Johanna is back.

"Hey Johanna, is she ready?" I say, hoping I sound convincing. She waves me in "Yeah she's still picking out lingerie in there, maybe go hurry her ass up..." She smirks with a wink. Instantly I know she'd kept the tv on so Katniss wouldn't hear her helping me out. I give her a small thankful smile as Katniss shouts back, obviously embarrassed by her friend. But I didn't hav tie to dwell of our fairy godmother Johanna when I saw Katniss come out of her bedroom at the end of the hall. She was wearing a pristine white sundress...one I recognized. The one she'd worn on our very last date.

"She's an idiot." Is all I hear from Katniss as I focus on her. Her hair is even down around her shoulders, she looks like an angel. I've probably overused that word for her at this point. But she's the only one that makes me speechless. I lose half of my vocabulary when she walks into a room. I snap out of it in an effort to have some cool left. "Don't forget a condom this time you two!" Johanna laughs as she sits herself back onto the couch. I look to Katniss and neither of us move. When Johanna has unparsed her show she turns to us, she smirks at me and gives a little wave with her right hand. As if to say "off you go now, I'm done." I laugh out loud, she seemed spunky. Just what Kat needed to rile her up.

"Bye Johanna" I shout, still chuckling at her. I took Katniss by the hand, not even really thinking about it. Just pulling her with me as if this was our thousandth date. But once the door to her apartment shuts she stops moving. She's staring at me with those big grey eyes I'd fallen in love with. she does this for what feels like a full minute. "Katniss?"

* * *

 **Katniss's POV**

Oh shit...he'd caught me staring at him. Not that I'd been hiding it very well at all. "Sorry...where are we going?" I can feel the blush on my cheeks once more. Why did he have to turn me into a tomato every time I was with him?

"Well...I actually made dinner for us...I thought we could go somewhere special to eat it." He smiles slightly

"I suppose we could do that, where did you have in mind?" I ask, although I already know the answer.

* * *

 _ **FLASHBACK**_

 _"Where are we going Kat?" He laughs as I continue to drag him up a hill. We'd just parked the car at the side of the dirt road below and there was nothing around for miles around._

 _"You'll see Peeta!" I giggle excitedly, I loved the meadow. I had come here for years with my dad and Prim; we'd fish, make flower crowns, have picnics, and once we'd even camped there for a night. Peeta's big warm hand is still holding mine as we reached the top go the hill but when he looks up from the ground, I can see the view takes his breath away. The meadow stretched for miles with rich green grass, peppered with yellow and orange flowers. Then only a few yards away, the lake glittered crystal blue with a huge Willow tree right next to it. "Kat, this is the most beautiful place I've ever seen." Peeta is grinning as his blue eyes rake over the landscape._

* * *

 ** _Katniss's POV_**

I was so beyond excited when Peeta turned onto a very familiar dirt road. The sun was still setting and painted the sky a deep orange, the road was a little bumpy as it always had been. I knew exactly where we were headed. Peeta pulls up to the old ditch we'd used as a parking spot, when he turned the car off I get out and grin when I smell the country air. Peeta simply grabs his picnic bag and my hand before marching us up the hill "Peeta, this is a perfect first date." I laugh giddily.

We reach the top and it is exactly how I remember, except for one thing. Ten feet away at the apex of the hill, was a sign reading **Land For Sale** followed by a number. It was heartbreaking. I pointed it out to Peeta and his face fell, "Oh Kit Kat, I didn't know about that...I think we can still picnic at the tree."

I sighed and nodded, it was just another thing from my life that I would have to lose. We sit down beneath the Willow tree and he pulls out cheese buns, a container of Ratatoullie, some cheesecake, a bottle of wine, and a coconut scented candle. "I didn't know what you'd want..." He smiles slightly in that boyish yet charming fashion. He lights the candle and lays out our meal and I couldn't remember a better date with him. We ate and drank as the sun dipped beyond the horizon and the candle burned lower. "Kat...what's Bentley's last name?" he asked after a while, I almost choked on my wine. "He...he has yours actually." I'm blushing now as his gaze burns into me.

"Why? I was horrible to you, I didn't even know he existed until a few days ago." He's not looking at me anymore, he's staring over the surface of the lake with a sad glint in his eyes.

"Peeta, I love you and at the time I did resent you. But I love our son enough to not deny him his father's name. His name." I didn't want Peeta to think that I wanted Bentley to not know him. "Peeta, I always wanted you to know him and him to know you. Even if you had meant to hurt me when you left. He deserved a father." I smile at the end and take his hand in mine. He finally looks at me again and I shiver at the look in his eyes. It isn't lust or need there. Instead it's the most loving look I could have seen from him. He leans in close and his lips brush mine ever so softly when we hear a shout. "Who's there?"

* * *

 **Sorry to leave you on a cliffhanger but rest assured another chapter is coming!**


	5. The Flashbacks

**Here's the next chapter! Hope you guys enjoyed the last one! I promise lots of drama! Thanks again for reading!**

* * *

 **Peeta's POV**

I pull away from Katniss to see someone standing at the top of the hill with a flashlight. He was pointing the thing at us. "I think this is our question to go Kit Kat. I put everything we'd brought into my bag and blow out the candle, all the while Katniss is putting on her shoes and trying to see who the person is, but by the time a look of understanding takes over her face he's already about a yard away from us. "Cato Baxter." I growl as I grab Kat's hand. The blonde man looked at me in surprise

"Mellark...I didn't know you were back...and you're looking well Everdeen...or is it Mellark now?" He's looking at us like we were ghosts, "What are you two doing here anyway?"

"I took Katniss here for a date tonight..."

"Why here of all places?"

"It was our special place in high school" I answered, it couldn't have been that weird to hang out here. It was beautiful and remote, not an unpleasant spot.

I expected the guy to sneer and tell me I was stupid, or that Katniss had too low standards but he didn't. He just lowered the flashlight and spoke "I guess the for sale sign is a bit of a downer then huh?"

"Yeah. Do you know who's selling it?" Katniss asked with a sad look on her face. I wishes I could end that sadness.

"Yeah...Mr. Thread...your stepdad right?"

"Yeah...do you work for him now or something?" Katniss looked sour now, old memories must have been resurfacing and leaving a bad taste in her mouth. "Yeah, he hired me to take care of his other properties so he could relax more...I think he's planning on selling this place to a nearby farm, an expansion I'd guess..."

He looks a bit sheepish as he stares at the ground "So...is it true then?"

"Is what true?" I say defensively. I still didn't trust my old rival, but my distrust seemed to be misplaced. He looked up at me with an almost sorrowful look. Something we'd never seen from the guy in all of our time knowing him. "I got the job with thread right after graduation...he told me that Katniss ran away to be with you..."

"Not even close. He made Peeta dump me and Peeta just happened to get me pregnant the night he left and because I was pregnant I got kicked out." Katniss sighed. She'd sat back down on the ground beneath the tree. Cato was looking at her like she was an alien. "You two broke up? I'll be honest I'm surprised..."

"Why? You always thought I should leave him for you" She says snippily. She was annoyed now

"Yea...I said most of that because I wanted to get a rise out of Peeta. It didn't help that my dad and Mr. Thread were always talking about how us being together would fix a lot of problems for the farms."

"Of course...so that's why you were the bane of our existence?!" She turns to him with her cheeks red from embarrassment or anger.

He looked rather upset, like he didn't think he'd been that bad. "I know I was annoying Katniss, but if you didn't notice when you two were apart in senior year...I thought you two were fighting or something...I left you alone. I didn't wanna make it any worse."

Katniss looked at him like he was an actual alien landing before us "You...the one who constantly hit on me from before the time I dated Peeta to the day before we broke up...you didn't want to make anything harder for us? Forgive me if I tell you that it makes no sense."

"I know it is...but I didn't want to be a rebound either. You...you also looked...you looked lost without him...like you'd be blown away like a leaf in fall. I didn't think you'd be happy with anyone else...so I backed off.

She lets her head fall into her hands "did I really look that bad?!" I didn't really know what to do in this situation. This talk was really more about Katniss than myself. "Men think they know everything. You think you know what I needed. Peeta thought he knew what was best when he left. My father thought that driver was just tired. You all think you're right so you never question anything. All I wanted was an explanation of why my only good relationship was ended. I wanted to know why they died. I wanted to know why I was a target for you." She got up and looked out over the lake. She was shaking. "I wanna go home Peeta." She looks at me and I can tell she's close to tears. She walks past both Cato and I as she marches over the hill and to the car.

"So...you two are dating again?" He says, fiddling with the light of his flashlight.

"Yes. Just started back up...but don't even think about it."

"Katniss isn't my type anymore Peeta. When I wanted her it was because she was quiet and her step dad was a friend of my dad's friends. I didn't have many requirements for a girlfriend back then. Now I want someone who's not going to take any of my shit. I'd like her to be interested in stupid bands I like...and walking dead marathons...maybe willing to go rock climbing with me." He looks off over the lake. "I'll let you get back to your date...sorry if I screwed it up."

I shook my head "Take care Cato. Good luck with Thread, he's a son of a bitch if I ever met one." With that I trudged up the hill with my picnic basket in tow. I find Katniss in the car waiting for me. Her cheeks are streaked with tears.

"Kat, I'm so sorry baby. Talk to me please. Tell me about it." I sit in the drivers seat as I take her left hand in both of mine. "Peeta...I have something to tell you. I'm ashamed of it...but I did see someone after Bentley was born. He was almost a year old when this happened but...I met him at work...at the Seam. He worked as a bouncer...he seemed really nice. He took me out to nice enough places. But every once in a while he'd say something...like I was getting fat...or that I needed to watch what I ate. Then it got to the point where he started counting my calories...and the one time I didn't take his advice and get something healthy or small at the movies...he hit me. When we got back in the car. By that point he was helping...helping provide for Bentley and I because I hadn't gotten a second job yet...and if it wasn't for Jo seeing the mark on my cheek I probably would have stayed with him. I ended up breaking up with him and I told the manager at the Seam about it...the one good thing he did for me was firing that guy.

"You think you would have stayed with him?!" My strong, brave, and sweet Katniss...would've stayed if he paid for the rent.

She turns to glare at me "Yes. Not because I like getting hit, because I was 19 and scared with a baby to care for. After that...Jo decided to help me out by being free child care. She works morning shifts and I work nights. So someone is always with Bentley and someone is always able to work. Peeta...I just...I couldn't let Bentley go hungry. That's all I wanted when I was 19. He was starting to need more food and new clothes...I was overwhelmed." She's looking down at her hands. I didn't eat much after I dated him. I still don't."

That broke my heart. She'd been beaten down by more than just life, she'd been beaten down by the assumptions of men...

"Kit Kat...I don't care that you were with someone else. I don't blame you for anything, especially not wanting to provide for Bentley." I whisper, the night air seemed to become a blanket of silence around us. She looked at me shyly for a moment. "I've ruined tonight haven't I?"

"No Kat, we had a nice time. If anyone ruined it it was Cato." She smiles slightly. "You always did blame everything on that guy...let's just finish the picnic at your place Peeta." She plugs in her seatbelt and slides her hand into mine.

* * *

 _ **FLASHBACK**_

 _I sat in the drivers seat waiting for Katniss, it was our second date. I hoped this one would actually go well...my eye and lip had healed and I wasn't even going to be around my mother before this date. I quickly packed up a few of my favorite baked goods (cheese buns, some delicious iced cookies, and of course I had to throw in a chocolate cupcake or two. I also packed some roasted duck, boiled potatoes, and roasted cauliflower. I ran a hand through my hair. I had one more hour till our date and I still had no clue what else would make the date go at least a little better. I ended up bringing two big fluffy blankets and a few pillows. We were going to the drive in so I thought I could make the back of my truck look a bit better and make it a lot more comfortable for us to watch a movie. I load it all in and say a little prayer before I begin driving. "God...I just want her to like me..." As I drove up to her house I could feel my palms sweating heavily against the steering wheel and my mouth had gone very dry. By the time I reached her house I felt like I was having a heart attack. She had no reason to pity me this time..._

 _I didn't even notice her walking up to the car so when she opened the door I almost jumped out of my skin. "Hi! Hi Katniss...um...are you ready to go?"_

 _She smiled and hopped into the seat beside me "Yep, so we're seeing a movie right?"_

 _"Yeah, we can see that new horror flick or that new romantic drama thing..." I smile while tapping my fingers nervously on the steering wheel._

 _"You didn't have your heart set on that romantic thing did you?" She asks and my heart stops. I'm about to tell her that she didn't have to go out with me again if she didn't want when she speaks again. "I've been wanting to see that horror one, I've heard that it's got Maggie from the walking dead...she's supposed to be some nanny to a doll right?"_

 _I breathe a sigh of relief. Of course...she'd been talking about that stupid romantic movie...not our date. "No no...I honestly chose that one because I thought you may want to see it. I'd love to see the scary one" I smiled. I smile and start the engine back up. As I back out of her driveway she looks in the back seat "Sneaking food into the drive in huh?"_

 _"Yeah...I thought you might like something a bit more substantial then popcorn..." I look at her hopefully from the corner of my eye. We chat pleasantly as we continue to the drive to the run down drive in. It dated back to the 50s and was a staple for teen date nights. Though most weren't watching the movie._

 _When we've bought our tickets we pick a spot a few rows away from the screen so that the back of the truck is facing it. She's smirking as I lay one of the blankets over the bed of the truck "Comforter huh? Wanted things to be comfy for tonight?"_

 _"I didn't want to have a sore behind while getting scared of a doll." I joke as I place in the pillows and the other blanket. I help her climb in and we settle down for the trailers. We pull the blanket over us as the air cooled with the setting sun. I pull out my backpack of food and start laying out our dinner. She giggles at the sight of all the food I'd cooked and baked just for the occasion. "Are we expecting an army to join us?" She jokes. I laugh and simply hand her a plate of duck and vegetables. "I thought you may like something nice to eat when you're with me. More than just pizza I mean."_

 _She takes a bite and groans softly "This is awesome Peeta...did you make this?"_

 _"Yeah...my mom doesn't like to cook much and dad is busy with the bakery and all that. So my brothers and I have had to pick up the slack. I cook, Rye cleans, and Leven does the laundry."_

 _"So you cook...you bake...you paint...what else do I not know Mr. Mellark?"_

 _She leans closer to me so she's got her chin on my shoulder "I...I want to join the army...get married some day...own my own bakery some day...maybe have a few kids."_

 _"Oh yeah? Big dreams there. Already got someone lined up for the alter?" She teases_

 _"Maybe...she's beautiful...sweet...firey...compassionate...quite honestly she's perfect. I only wished I was good enough for her" She suddenly gets off of me and puts her plate on her other side "So why are you dating me? Best you could do?" She isn't looking at me any more she's glaring at the screen with her arms wrapped around her bent knees._

 _"God! No! Katniss!...I was...I was talking about you! Why would you think I wasn't?" I was panicking now. I just screwed myself once again._

 _She softens her stance a little "You actually think I'm all that?"_

 _"Of course I do...why wouldn't I?"_

 _"I just...I've never heard that I'm beautiful...or sweet...least of all perfect. And the idea of you not deserving me is downright ridiculous." She's blushing and burying her face in her knees at this point. I wrap an arm around her "Kat...I didn't mean to upset you...don't cry...please?"_

 _She looks up from her knees and she smiles slightly, her eyes are a little watery. "You're really sweet Peeta..." She lays her head on my shoulder "You're an idiot though"_

 _"What? Why?!" I laugh_

 _"You told me all about how I'm your dream girl...and you think you don't deserve me. I was thinking of not coming this time...and you plan everything so perfectly! You even made me dinner? If anything I don't deserve you." She is hugging me tightly now and I feel a small sense of pride swell up in me. I hadn't completely screwed up...and she thought I was worth it..._

 _"So...we're good?" I whisper as the movie finally begins_

 _"We're great...and you're pretty perfect too." She says into my ear, I barely have time to register this as I feel her warm lips on my cheek. She then lays back on my shoulder and takes another bite of duck. We spent the whole night like that with her snuggled up in my arms. When it was time to go home she slid her hand into mine as we drove and when we finally pulled up to her house she leans over and kisses me smack on the mouth. It takes me a minute to react but when I do I take her cheek in my hand and wrap my other arm around her waist. When she pulls away she's blushing. She begins fussing with her braid "Sorry..."_

 _"Why are you sorry"_

 _"I didn't want to make you kiss me...I just-"_

 _"Katniss, honestly I would have paid every cent I have for that kiss. I definitely didn't mind it."_

 _She smiles at me shyly, still blushing and messing with her braid. "Then...would you like to go out with me again? I could treat you to some milkshakes and roller skating?" It floored me...she'd asked me to go out with her...I wanted to whoop and holler but I knew that would be a bit odd. So all I did was grin and say "Next weekend?"_

 _"I was thinking tomorrow. It's a Saturday...they have half off fries tomorrow too. Would you like to go?"_

 _"Of course, when do you want me to pick you up?" I was over the moon. I didn't stop grinning even when I went to bed that night. Even when my mother had called me "Lazy infant" When I hadn't started dinner on time I didn't quit smiling._

* * *

 **Back To Present Katniss's POV**

Peeta drove back to his place above the old bakery with my hand in his. He would run his thumb over my wrist every once in a while, every time he did it brought me back to old times. Before we'd even discussed the long term. When we were just two kids in love. He leads me up to his apartment with that little smile that used to melt me...ok it still does.

When he was in the kitchen, reheating our meal I decided to explore. I grew to know this apartment really well...I'd spent many an evening here with Peeta in high school. It had changed a bit though. No longer were there horrible paintings of flowers in pink table cloths everywhere (courtesy of his mother's horrible decorating skills). Now it was...bare. Like a blank canvas...I thought back to the first time I'd ever seen Peeta do anything artsy

* * *

 _ **Katniss's POV FLASHBACK**_

 _I woke up in a very soft bed, softer than mine so I knew I was at Peeta's. I woke up and the previous night came rushing back. I'd stayed over because his parents were out of town and his brothers were at college. I blushed as I remember how far we'd gone...Not all the way. But fairly close. I pulled on the nearest shirt which was his Green Day t-shirt. I look around to find no sign of Peeta. As I walk out of the room I hear paper rustling in the living room. When I get out there I find Peeta in just his boxers with a sketch book on an easel as he drew with a long thin charcoal pencil. He was very focused, his brow was furrowed as he closed in on a certain line. On closer inspection it was a woman...she was very bare...and it was me. I blushed like crazy "PEETA!" I whisper shout. He drops the pencil and turns in shock. "Kat...I didn't think you'd wake up for a while..."_

 _"Peeta you live with other people! What if they find that!" I cross my arms, forgetting that I was only wearing his shirt and my underwear. He bites his lip before shaking his head like a dog removing water from its ears. "Kat...I...I'm not going to show anyone. And it isn't like this is the first...Um but no one will see it." It's his turn to blush now. "It isn't the first?! Peeta! You're a great artist! That's like taking a picture of me!"_

 _"I...I didn't think of that...you're just my favorite thing to draw"_

 _"Well..I...you...you swear no one will see it?" I feel myself breaking down slowly...with those big puppy dog eyes._

 _"No one will see them Kat." I bite my lip "Ok...Come back to your room at least."_

 _I let him grab his things including the half done drawing of me and go back to his room. While he's still in the living room I quickly grab my bra off the floor and pull off his shirt. I pull on my bra and thank god I wore a matching set for once. They were green and lacy...and I had another sudden idea. I grab one of his white dress shirts and pull it on but leaving it open. I lay down on the sheets and wait for him to come in. When he comes in I almost laughed out loud at the sight of his face. His jaw hit the floor and he looked like he was going to drop all of his things on the floor. "If you're going to draw me Peeta...I may as well be there." I say hoping he wouldn't notice the nervous quiver in my voice. He doesn't take his eyes off me as he sits down in his desk chair with his things still piled in his arms. After a moment he gulps and puts his sketch pad on the desk. He flips it to a blank page and grabs his pencil. "Are you sure Kit Kat?"_

 _"Peeta you've already seen me naked...and drawn me naked...I thought maybe you would like this..."_

 _"I do...you're beautiful Kat." He scoots his chair closer and leans in so his face is inches from mine. I close the gap and kiss him softly. He returns the kiss eagerly and I feel him lift one leg and rest it on the other side of me. He's now hovering above me as he deepens the kiss. "I love you baby. He whispers in my ear while rubbing his hand from my cheek down to my neck._

 _"Draw me like one of your French girls Peeta" I whisper back causing him to laugh and totally ruin the hot and heavy mood. "Really Kat?"_

 _"Yep" I giggle. He smirks acts like he's going to kiss me again only to start tickling my sides. "PEETA!" I shouted in surprise and laughter. I struggle to get away as he keeps tickling me._

 _"I finally yell "You win just stop!" and he quits. He's red in the face and laughing now, he pulls me against him on the bad and runs a hand through my hair. "You don't have to model for me Kit Kat...you just have to love me." He kisses me gently and holds me. "Besides how can I focus on drawing when my sexy girlfriend is laying two inches away from me" He jokes softly_

 _"I'm not sexy Peeta" I mutter_

 _"Says the girl wearing lingerie and my shirt." He smirks down at me...I liked his smile better so I decided to make that smirk go away. I kissed him deeply...and after that we seemed to forget all about him drawing me._

* * *

 **Katniss's POV (End of FLASHBACK)**

I stepped into the only room of the apartment that hadn't changed, Peeta's room. When I stepped in I felt 17 again. Peeta's walls still had old band posters, his bed unmade, a stack of old books on the back corner of his desk. The only thing that was different was that it now had a military issue duffel bag in the corner by the closet. I sat on the bed, thinking back to our last night. He really had been romantic. He'd been sweet, he'd made it nice...and now I knew it wasn't just because he thought he was just kinda sexy. I even remember when we were done how he'd held me. That had bothered me for so long now. Thinking it was all an act..thinking he was doing it to laugh about later with friends. Now I knew why he'd held me so tight. He'd been saying goodbye. Even if I didn't know it.

"Kat? Kat where'd you go?" I hear him calling.

"I'm in the bedroom Peeta!" I call back. Still thinking about our last night.

He comes in with a plate of warm cheese buns in his hands. "Are you ok Kat?"

"I...I was just thinking of that night...our last one."

His face falls a little bit at that, I didn't mean for him to think of it as bad. "I don't mean like that...I...I was angry with you for a long time. Thinking that how you acted right after...was all an act. I thought you did it because you wanted to laugh at me one last time. For believing that you loved me."

"Kat that's not-"

"Let me finish Peeta, I was looking back and I can tell how much pain you were in. I was just enjoying the afterglow...and you were mourning it. While I don't like what you did. Nor will I ever...I know that it hurt you too." I whisper the last part. He sat down with me and wrapped his arms around my shoulders so my head lands in the crook of her neck. "I missed you so much" I whisper. I turned in his arms so we're nose to nose. I don't hold back anymore and I kiss him. Once our lips met there were no more holds barred. Before long he's got me under him on the bed and he's kissing down my neck. "Kit Kat I missed you so much."

I pull his lips back to mine and start unbuttoning his shirt. His hand almost fly to mine "Kat...I don't...I don't wanna go too far here. The last thing I want is for you to regret being with me again. I want you to be with me because you love me. Not because I pressured you..."

I hadn't expected that...it showed that he really was a grown up now...odd that I thought that when I was laying under him in his bed. His eyes are bluer than I'd ever remembered in my lonely nights in those first few months we were apart. "Peeta...I won't regret this." I whisper in the silent air around us. My words are deafening in my ears as the weight of this statement falls on us.

* * *

 **I know it's a little shorter than the last one and a long time between the two but I like it. Let me know what you think! Brownie points if you know the movie they went to see!**


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